Why dogs are better than computers

[Rath Darkblade]

- If a dog does something wrong, you can easily see what it was. For example, if you forget to feed the dog, your Guccis become chew toys.

Faults in computers aren't that easy to detect.

- With a dog, you have lots of clues. It's easy to see why a dog won't obey: It's tired, it's bored, it's hungry. Bribing it with a treat can usually regain its interest.

Computers don't respond to wheedling, commands, begging, pleading, or bribery.

- Computers have a mind of their own and ignore you. Okay, so do dogs, but bribery can usually change that (see the trend here?)

- Clicking at a stubborn computer usually doesn't achieve what you want.

Clicking at a stubborn dog can quickly result in positive behavior modification.

- You don't have to download drivers for dogs. They are plug and play; they learn as they go. You can easily overcome system incompatibility. You can give them humane corrections to modify behaviors.

Computers will just ignore you.

- Computers get viruses. Dogs get ticks. Ticks are almost as difficult to get rid of as viruses, but at least you can go to the store and get a quick fix that won't cost you all your data.

[Tawmis]

andreaDraos is going to disagree with most of these and claim why cats are better than dogs and computers combined.

[Rath Darkblade]

Well, fair enough. I was only comparing dogs and computers, not dogs and computers and cats.

[Almirena]

As I love dogs AND cats, I'm not going to get into any cat-dog fights!

Hmm. Think of the following caveats about dogs and computers, though.

1. Dogs enjoy playing tug-of-war with one's skirt. Grrr, grrr, ooh this is fun! - so thinks the dog. Grr, grr, let go without tearing it! - so thinks the human.

Computers do not chew skirts or clothing.

2. Dogs have been known (especially in puppy stage) to get very excited and leave small puddles around... usually not on the newspaper spread out for them, but for preference anywhere else where you are likely to walk without looking.

Computers do not do this; they are also unlikely to urinate on a post office box or new car.

3. However... on the good side... dogs can be cuddled, hugged, stroked, adored and taken for walks. They recognise the dog lead instantly and know EXACTLY what it means.

Computers cannot be cuddled and hugged and stroked without your looking very silly indeed. You may certainly adore your computer if it's the very latest model, super-fast, super-powerful and has all your favourite programmes already installed - but do not waste your time attempting to take it for a walk. It will not come; neither will it recognise "heel". You can wave the dog lead in front of it a thousand times, but the response will be... nothing.

In short, I recommend you have a dog AND a computer, and do not mix up the two. Problems are likely to arrive if you try to use your dog to send an email, or try to shampoo your computer.