Top 10 list: "Top 10 Things Rakeesh would never say or do"

[Rath Darkblade]

Top 10 Things Rakeesh would never say or do

10. "A little backstabbin' never hurt anyone."

9. "You're a hero? You look like a pansy!"

8. "A Paladin always seeks the True Way... and a little Tang."

7. "You want me to swear by my honour? Pfft... whatever."

6. "You wanna come over on the weekend? Kreesha and I are having the Demon Wizard over, and we need a fourth for bridge."

5. (to anyone) Rakeesh holds up his thumb and forefinger across his forehead and mouths "Loser"

4. "Hey, d'ja just beat a monster? Good for you. I just did the Monster Mash, myself."

3. Whenever Rajah appears, Rakeesh twirls his finger around his ear

2. (while the hero talks to him about General Claudius): "I see no real solution but battle, my friend. Show... uh..." (squints into the distance, as if reading off a cue card) "...er, mercy? Yeah, show mercy when you can, and who wrote this drivel?"

1. "Sure I'll help you."

And the bonus...

0. "Honour, schmonour..."