Game: The Purposely Poorly Proposed Parody Songs!

[Tawmis]

Based off of the Game: "Let's NOT write a Sierra related kickstarter!" and the Words of Music game - I thought it might be fun to do something - where we take normal songs and make parody titles for them (and a backstory, if wanted, or even lyrics?)

For example -
"Hot of the heels of Motley Crue's "Shout At the Devil" - I am writing a song called 'Pout at the Devil.' The whole song is about how the devil wants us to do something, and we don't want to, so we pout at the devil!"

[Rath Darkblade]

I thought QfGlorifications were the whole point of this? I wrote over 500 of the damn things, all about QfG.

[Rath Darkblade]

And here is one!

I'll Deter For You
(Suggested theme song for "Quest for Glory")
(Parody of "I'll Be There For You" by the Rembrandts (aka the Theme from "Friends"))

So you got goblins and your guards are fat and weak ...*clap clap clap clap*
Your court magician is in fact an old WIT geek! *clap clap clap clap*
You just found out your kingdom's overrun
And a mean witch has dropped in and you have lost your one only son

Chorus:
But... I'll deter for you
(When the goblins invade)
I'll deter for you
(When they plan a big raid)
I'll deter for you
(And no bills will be due)

Your realm's invaded by a demon or a few *clap clap clap clap*
A vampire rules the land, the Dark One's rising too *clap clap clap clap*
Well, have no fear, even the Simbani
And I know a lot of languages - I'm off so kwa herini

Chorus:
So... I'll deter for you
(When a demon is loose)
I'll deter for you
(I don't have an excuse)
I'll deter for you
(That is just what I'll do)

And no, I am not braggin', I'll take on dire dragon
I've no insurance dental, but I'll beat elemental
Thief, fighter or spell-caster - I am the Jedi master
I'll help you through disaster,
Check out my low, low prices too... yeah

Now Iblis is just about to be raised,
But I'm ready to stop Ad Avis - and no, I'm not really fazed

Chorus:
I'll deter for you, anything that you need
I'll deter for you, and my work's guaranteed
I'll deter for you, you can count on me too
I'll deter for you!
I'll deter for you!
I'll deter for you!
And no bills will be due.
(Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo...)

[Tawmis]

And here is one!
I'll Deter For You
(Suggested theme song for "Quest for Glory")
(Parody of "I'll Be There For You" by the Rembrandts (aka the Theme from "Friends"))

Wow, you went the extra mile and even wrote lyrics. Very cool. But a note - not needed, it's mostly just song title puns. Similar to the "Let's Not Kickstar this game" thread.

[Rath Darkblade]

Fair enough. I just saw this in your post ...

...where we take normal songs and make parody titles for them (and a backstory, if wanted, or even lyrics?)

So I thought, cool -- I've written something like 500 of these things. Sorry. Once I think up song titles, I can't resist writing the whole song too!

So, hHow about ... a parody of "I Think We're Alone Now", called "I Think I'm Stallone Now". This is all about a guy has the weird delusion that he's Sylvester Stallone (yikes!! ), and doesn't understand why Hollywood won't give him a call.

[Tawmis]

Fair enough. I just saw this in your post ...

...where we take normal songs and make parody titles for them (and a backstory, if wanted, or even lyrics?)

So I thought, cool -- I've written something like 500 of these things. Sorry. Once I think up song titles, I can't resist writing the whole song too!
So, hHow about ... a parody of "I Think We're Alone Now", called "I Think I'm Stallone Now". This is all about a guy has the weird delusion that he's Sylvester Stallone (yikes!! ), and doesn't understand why Hollywood won't give him a call.

Oh, I welcome people writing lyrics! I don't expect it much because of the extra work. Just the song and the parody title and the "pitch" for the title.

[Rath Darkblade]

So ... here's one I wrote earlier. It's about a person who has a weird delusion that he's Sylvester Stallone, and wonders why Hollywood won't give him a call...

Hope you enjoy.

"I Think I'm Stallone Now"
(Parody of "I Think We're Alone Now", Tiffany, 1987
and Tommy James & The Shondells, 1967;
also "I Think I'm a Clone Now", "Weird Al")

Isn't it strange
I just have to look in the mirror
What would people say
If they ever realise that I do
Search-and-rescue missions every night
Can't be super-hero in daylight
But when the night falls I get to be
A super-hero and a Batman and a Superman all rolled up into one

CHORUS:
I think I'm Stallone now
I don't go anywhere if I'm not well-armed
I think I'm Stallone now
By golly, you'd think Hollywood would be charmed

How can this be?
No one wants to return my calls now
What do people see
in other actors that I don't have?
My conviction rings in every word
I would fight with guns and even swords
I can fly choppers and stealth planes too
I deal with hostage situations every minute of the day
And so I say

CHORUS:
I think I'm Stallone now (Stallone now)
I build cars out of scrap everywhere I find
I think I'm Stallone now (Stallone now)
If Hollywood won't take me, they must be blind

I applied to be on Donahue!
Should I try a spot on Oprah too?
Is it a fantasy? I don't care
I can pursue my crazy dream until some nice policeman puts me away

CHORUS:
I think I'm Stallone now (Stallone now)
I do not understand how Van Damme got picked
I think I'm Stallone now (Stallone now)
His acting was atrocious in every flick
I think I'm Stallone now (Stallone now)
I had a shoot-out last week, no one was harmed
I think I'm Stallone now (Stallone now)
By golly, you'd think Hollywood would be charmed

I think I'm Stallone now...

[Fade]

[notbobsmith]

These are awesome, Rath. I don't think I'll be able to come up with lyrics though.

"Come on and Clean" (parody of “Come on Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners). A song to get you in the spring cleaning mood!

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

Like a Virginian
Material Squirrel
A Whole Nude World
Plunder the Sea
Fart of Your World
It’s In His Piss
Judy’s Turn to Die
Diss Me

[Rath Darkblade]

SHP. "Like a Virginian"? Is that about George Washington, by any chance?

I've seen "A Whole Nude World" before. It was some sophomore-esque song about the Aladdin movie.

Thank you, Notbobsmith. I'd been writing these ever since I was on the old Sierra forums, back in 1994. (Has it been that long? ) So I'm glad you like them.

Here's one about Magnum Opus, the guy who goes on and on and on in QfG5 how great he is. "I, Magnum Opus, brave in battle, fierce and fearless, blah blah blah blah blah..."

I'm Magnum Opus
(parody of "We Are The Champions" by Queen)

I've swung my sword, time after time,
Not drunk martinis, not even with lime,
And grand ol' tales, I've told a few,
I've slain my share of bad villains but see, I've rescued you!
And I'm gonna brag on, and on, and on, and on...

Chorus:
I'm Magnum Opus, it's me.
And I'm in Silmaria, QfG.
Need analgesic,
For I'm strategic,
And I know tactics
'Cos I'm Magnum Opus...
And you're not!

I've slain evil priests and look what I've got,
I've rescued dames in distress and all the rest of it,
Didn't get diddly-squat.
So I came down to Silmaria, for a holiday "do".
Now that dragon awakens and who gets to fight it?
C'mon, guess who...
And I'm gonna fight on, and on, and on, and on...

Chorus:
I'm Magnum Opus, my friends.
Will I get out of this? It depends.
I boast and talk big,
Then I scoff down figs,
I'll never shut up
'Cos I'm Magnum Opus...
And you're not--

I'm Magnum Opus, it's true.
I'll never paint my face white and blue.
I am not Braveheart,
Don't shop at Wal-Mart,
No time for face paint
'Cos I'm Magnum Opus...
And you're not!

*Magnum Opus blows a raspberry*

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

The Brolley Song
I Feel Sh*tty
Girls Just Wanna Have Rum
Dude Looks Like a Tradie

[Rath Darkblade]

The Brolly Song? Is that "The Trolley Song" by Judy Garland?

Just to clarify for non-Aussies: "brolly" is Aussie slang for "umbrella", and "tradie" is Aussie slang for "tradesman" - specifically, anyone who works on a building site. Bricklayers, electricians, carpenters etc. are all tradies.

Here's another idea ... "Pull On Your Big Boy Pants" (parody of "Put On A Happy Face"). So far it's just an idea. It's aimed at all those people - especially online - who go into a melt-down, or throw a tantrum, because they think they're being insulted or criticised. (But I've seen it in real life too).

It's ridiculous sometimes. So ... pull on your big boy pants!

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

The Brolly Song? Is that "The Trolley Song" by Judy Garland?

You got it.

[Rath Darkblade]

Here's a bit of fun.

The Thief Of Rasier
(parody of the theme for "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air")

Now this is a story - and I'm no bore
'bout how I stole bird for Signor
And in Parrot inn I'll tell to patrons full of beer -
I'll tell 'em how I became the thief of a town called Rasier

In snow town called Spielburg I sneak and thieve
And purloined small things for whom their owners never did grieve
Stole a few silvers, a vase or a golden ring
Gave it to healer - my dagger went 'ting'
When a brigand or two who were up to no good
Robbed a fat ol' merchant in my neighbourhood
I said "This here's my 'hood!" and they said "Oh dear!"
And so I beat 'em up and merchant said "You come to Shapier!"

I got to desert town and did see a seer
She said "Your caravan will be attacked near Rasier"
If anything I kicked the brigands right in the rear
Then I said "Nah forget 'em, go home to Rasier!"

I got down to Raseir about seven or eight
And I said to my saurus "Go home, smell you later!"
Now I'm in jail but I still have no fear
I'm famous because I'm the thief of Rasier.

[notbobsmith]

"We Will Frock You": Played when a priest is ordained.