And ... now I've created a special production (just for the Sierra forums!)
It's all about this guy and his special rock.
I wrote this one back in 2000 or so (just after QfG5 came out), but it always had problems with scansion and so on. So, I went back over this one and cleaned up all the problems. Please enjoy.
Oh, and uh ... the original song just gave me a funny mental image, too. If this was a real jailhouse, it'd go like this:
[music starts]
Elvis: Warden threw a party at the county jail--
Warden: Nope. *bops Elvis on the head with his stick and chucks him into solitary* Party cancelled! Back to yer cells!
Rakeesh's Rock
(parody of
"Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley)
That's a seat for Paladins, but sad to tell,
It's gettin' mighty old and it's begun to smell.
But still an' all, us balladeers - we all can sing,
About the time when Paladins sat on that thing -
Chorus:
That rock, everybody, that rock -
Everybody knows it's not in stock,
That's why it's called Rakeesh's Rock.
Last year there was an order to remove that thing,
But then Prince o' Shapier, he came on down with bling.
He said, "I knew Rakeesh when he was all alone -
So if you wanna judge him, haul away that stone!"
Chorus:
That rock, everybody, that rock -
It was made from just a limescale block,
And now it's called Rakeesh's Rock.
Well, everyone felt guilty and were mortified;
In fact, there was this one guy that he even cried.
He said "Oh, we should keep this rock as souvenir
of times when Paladins just sat 'round 'n drank beer--"
Chorus:
That rock, everybody, that rock -
And you cannot fry it in a wok,
It's not food -- just Rakeesh's Rock.
One fella - well he said, "We oughtta modernise.
Let's build a mighty school because that would be wise."
But everybody said, "Ah no, that's in the past,
and you're just a gosh-darned iconoclast--"
Chorus:
That rock, everybody, that rock -
Cannot keep it under key and lock,
It escapes a jail, Rakeesh's Rock.
So now the rock is stayin' there, despite the stench;
I'm guessin' that for Paladins, it's like a bench.
And sometimes it inspires troubadours like me
who've been writing since nineteen-ninety-three--
Chorus:
That rock, everybody, that rock -
It's-a one thing that you cannot mock,
No ridicule, Rakeesh's Rock.
Adulate Rakeesh's Rock,
Venerate Rakeesh's Rock, woo!
Celebrate Rakeesh's Rock,
Liberate Rakeesh's Rock!
It's a piece of stone and not a clock -
that's why it wouldn't go "tick tock"!
(Mwa-ha-ha!) 
