[2021] The Silly Poetry Slam Game!

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

How about a thread for poetry? Limericks, or haiku - or maybe a game where we make up a headline for a newspaper, and all the words must start with the same letter.

You can be as silly or serious as you like. The point is to have fun. =) For instance:

Lean, leonine, lordly lions legally lying!

Trim tiger tattle-tales, tree tells!

Jigging Japanese jawing jaguars joke in January!

(All the latest details on these torrid, steamy, filthy scandals in "Alliteration Daily!" Out now!) =)

Have fun. For even more fun, maybe write a paragraph or two to describe the news story for the headline. For instance:

Trim tiger tattle-tales, tree tells!
Paranormal investigator Normal Norman has revealed to "Alliteration Daily" the results of his investigations into unusual goings on in Hudson River Park, Manhattan.

According to Mr. Norman, yesterday that Terry the Tree - a prominent feature in the park - observed a trim tiger named Tony approach Nelly the Nose yesterday and tell her all about an explosive political scandal. Unfortunately, Terry was too far away to hear everything, but he did catch the words "financial scandal", "trillion dollars", and "don't tell anyone".

Intriguing news indeed from Mr. Norman. We can reveal that Mr. Norman was supposed to interview Andy Ant earlier today - but this was permanently put on hold after someone trod on Andy. When we commented to Mr. Norman that this is an unfortunate development, he replied: "It certainly was for Andy."

We'll reveal more once Mr. Norman interviews Barry Brick, a witness who unfortunately stonewalled the police so far. Back after these messages.

[*The Butler]

Oh, looky a brand new thread
But I feel like the rules weren't read!
I had asked to mark it [2021]
Which I can see wasn't done!
So let me edit this thread that's brand new
And go ahead and do that for you.
I guess that's why I'm the butler
To clean up the mess of others, as it were.

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

Aha! That's why you are The Butler -
You clear up mess, and do it 'utler'.

(Utterly) =D

[*Gamera]

There once was a game by Sierra
Which had a princess in a tiara
The game didn't sell
Maybe just as well
The goal was to make pasta primavera!

Sierra doesn't rhyme well.

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

Sierra rhymes? Carrera, where a, prepare a, Sarah, Sahara, Riviera, chimera, Talavera ... < grin >

Two teenagers were in Verona,
and their dads could make peace, but don't wanna.
In despair, they elope
and then - bereft of hope -
commit suicide. Each one's a goner!

(Romeo and Juliet)

[*Gamera]

I once knew a man named Stu
And rhyming he just couldn't do
He gave all he had
But they just sounded bad
So he ended up writing haikus

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

Nice one. < grin >

An Austro-Hungarian was shot,
and all Europe said angrily "Wot?!
Throw the blaggard in jail,
Then shoot him without fail!
Will this start a war? Certainly not!"

(World War 1 in a Nutshell) <G>

[*Gamera]

Anyone else have their own theme song? Didn't think so:

Gamera, Gamera
Ikasuzo, Gamera! Ikasuzo, Gamera! Ikasuzo, Gamera!
Nichi, Getsu, Ka, Sui, Nichi, Getsu, Ka, Sui
Nikkoh saegiru, Akuma no niji da
Reitoh Kaiju, Kurunara koi!
Haneta-zo, Tonda-zo. Go! Go! Go!
Kaen Funsha de Yattsukero
Ikasuzo, Gamera! Ikasuzo, Gamera! Ikasuzo, Gamera!


Translation:
Gamera, Gamera
So cool, Gamera! So cool, Gamera! So cool, Gamera!
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Shadow the Sun, Evil's Rainbow
Frozen monster, Dare to march!
Jumped, Flew. Go! Go! Go!
Destroy with Jet Flame. Here goes Gamera!
So cool, Gamera! So cool, Gamera! So cool, Gamera!

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

That's not poetry! That's a theme song! <s> That's like saying that "Ch-ch-ch-chip and Dale! Rescue Range - Ch-ch-ch-chip and Dale! Rescue Range - Oh no, they'll never fail" is poetry.

I'm talking about poetry you wrote yourself. Or whatever you want to write yourself. <g> For instance:

Cute carrots cut chicken corset corners

Long-time readers of "Alliteration Daily" will have noticed this scandal before, which continues to embarrass the ruling Carrot Party. It has become apparent that some of the less unattractive members of the Carrot Party have approached members of the Chicken Party and stealthily used scissors to cut corners off their corsets, presumably as a sort of corset fetish. The esteemed leader of the nation, Mr. Orange Carrot, has refused to comment on the matter. However, the head of the Chicken Party, Mrs. Mother Hen, had this to say: "Bwak bwak! Bwak bwak bwak!! bwak bwak bwak bwaaaaaak!!!"

Strong words indeed there from Mrs. Mother Hen. And we'll be back with more alliterative tabloid stories after this word from our sponsors - Prim Purple Paints Prove Prudent(TM).

(I must have waaay too much time on my hands) =P

[*Gamera]

How about a haiku about myself:

Flying through the air
Breathe flame at my enemies
Friend to all children.

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

Let's try.

Very snarky comic
Smokes too many cigarettes
Dead at thirty-two.

[*Gamera]

There once was a turtle who was strong
He even had his own theme song
He fought monsters left and right
He was always ready to fight
Someday he hoped to fight King Kong

[*Moriarty]

I'm more of a math person, so instead of one of my feeble concoctions I'll leave you with this limerick by Jon Saxton:

(12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0

Translation:
A dozen, a gross and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,'
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
is nine square and not a bit more.

[*Gamera]

Had to Google that one. I didn't realize the dots were very tiny text until later. The limerick is cute.

Swimming in the sea
I meet a humongous squid
Must we always fight?

[*Reading is FUNdamental]

Spiteful Sam was a very bad boy,
A great big club was his favourite toy!
He bashed the poor old policeman's head,
and kicked the dog when it asked to be fed.
He drank thirty beers and then went drivin',
did donuts in fields when he was arrivin'.
With firecrackers he was a lad -
He set them off - it was very bad.
But did he face any repercussion?
You bet! "SAM'S HANGED!", the papers are gushin'!

(Sorry) =P