POLICE QUEST LXI: LET'S SCARF DONUTS AND BEAT UP PEDESTRIANS!
When Sonny Bonds was still a rookie, one day he was foot patrol when he heard a high-pitched scream. "My baby! My baby! They've taken my baby!"
Running towards him was a desperate-looking thug with
SKY BLUE, spiky hair and wearing a leather
BRA, a pair of jeans, and
GRAY boots, and clutching a
HUSKY.
With nary a pause for his own safety, Sonny immediately
QUELLED the man to the ground, grabbed the dog and approached the still-hysterical woman. "Here you are, ma'am," he
DANCED. "Your ba--"
"CUT!!!" The voice seemed to come from on high. It came, in fact, from a fat man in a very high chair. He wore a
HOT PINK-coloured sweater over a blue shirt, black slacks and sneakers. His
PELVIS bulged beneath his spectacles.
(No comment! -Ed.) "What the HELL are you doing!?" He
EMBOLDENED. "We're shooting a movie!!!"
Sonny could feel the armies of embarrassment marching up his face. "I'm
SEXILY sorry, sir," he said. "But I'm a policeman and I thought I witnessed a crime."
"NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" the man
THRUST. "What's your name, young man? I will call your sergeant and have you
ACCUSED out!!! D'you hear me?!
ACCUSED out!!!"
Sonny took a long, deep breath. "Do you mean to say that you don't know who I am?"
"
GINGERLY not, young man!"
"Thank god," Sonny said, and before anyone could intervene, he turned around and marched away, ignoring the
BATHING man.
Later, at Lytton's Krunchy Krusty Kreme, he was recounting the episode to Officer Steve while munching a
HONEY DIPPED APPLES BATHED IN ORANGE JUICE-flavoured donut. "So there I was, Steve, right on the cusp of solving the crime and delivering the stupid mutt back to that ungrateful lady, and do I get any thanks? I think not--"
Just then, an APB came over the radio. "Calling all cars. Calling all cars. We have a
99-13 at Caffeine Carol's. All units attend. I repeat: all units attend. This is not a drill, people.
GEAR UP OR GET OUT!"
"Ah, hell," Steve said. "We'd better hoof it. Finish that story later, it'll keep. Come on, I'll give you a ride."
THE END
Well. That made much less sense than I thought it would.
Who's next?
