My turn!
Quest for Gory: QfG Meets DOOM
One day the QfG Hero walked out of Spielburg into the forest, when out jumped a [MONSTER] with a [[FUTURISTIC WEAPON]!
The hero unsheathed his sword, but the [MONSTER] laughed at him. "[EXPRESSION OF MOCKERY]! A sword? What do you think this is, [A BYGONE AGE, LONG LONG AGO]? Only girls fight with swords nowadays!"
The monster then blasted away with its [FUTURISTIC WEAPON], causing [TYPE OF BIRD] to fall out of trees as insta-barbecue. "Ow!" it cursed. "Blasted [NOUN] in my paw! Putting off my aim!"
But the hero was unafraid, and he took the [NOUN] out of the [MONSTER]'s paw, and the [MONSTER] became his friend.
So the hero sent it off to the Spielburg lake, where it lived for oh-so-many [TIME PERIODS], attracting [ADJECTIVE] [FOREIGN COUNTRY] tourists with their big fat [FOREIGN CURRENCY]. And the
And the hero grew monstrously round, whereupon he was offered a [TYPE OF AFTER-DINNER MINT]. But he said "No thanks, I'm [VERB]ing my figure." So they rolled him out the door, and used him to play ten-pin bowling with.
THE END
Well ... that didn't go as I expected, but never mind.
Now it's your turn! 
