Sierra Madlibs!

[Tawmis]

RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - MASTER
PART OF YOUR FACE - UPPER LIP
RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - GRAND HIGH POOBAH
VERBING (e.g. WALKING) - SKATING
PAST TENSE VERB - JOGGED
ADVERB
ADVERB
SYNONYM FOR BACKSIDE
VERB
PAST TENSE VERB
ADVERB - MALICIOUSLY

[notbobsmith]

RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - MASTER
PART OF YOUR FACE - UPPER LIP
RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - GRAND HIGH POOBAH
VERBING (e.g. WALKING) - SKATING
PAST TENSE VERB - JOGGED
ADVERB - NONCHALANTLY
ADVERB
SYNONYM FOR BACKSIDE
VERB
PAST TENSE VERB - SMEARED
ADVERB - MALICIOUSLY

[Tawmis]

RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - MASTER
PART OF YOUR FACE - UPPER LIP
RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - GRAND HIGH POOBAH
VERBING (e.g. WALKING) - SKATING
PAST TENSE VERB - JOGGED
ADVERB - NONCHALANTLY
ADVERB - HAPPILY
SYNONYM FOR BACKSIDE - BUTTOX
VERB
PAST TENSE VERB - SMEARED
ADVERB - MALICIOUSLY

[notbobsmith]

RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - MASTER
PART OF YOUR FACE - UPPER LIP
RANK (e.g. NOVICE, CRAFTSMAN, EXPERT, MASTER, etc.) - GRAND HIGH POOBAH
VERBING (e.g. WALKING) - SKATING
PAST TENSE VERB - JOGGED
ADVERB - NONCHALANTLY
ADVERB - HAPPILY
SYNONYM FOR BACKSIDE - BUTTOX
VERB - DECAPITATE
PAST TENSE VERB - SMEARED
ADVERB - MALICIOUSLY

And that's all of them.

[Rath Darkblade]

Space Quest XIII: Not Those Guys Again! (ctd.)

"I ..." Blertfast took a hold of himself. "I just finished waxing the floor, sir. When that was done, I fixed the Frosty Milk machine, because I'm an MASTER mechanic."

Roger rubbed the sleep out of his UPPER MILK. He really needed that Frosty Milk. "You're a GRAND HIGH POOBAH mechanic, are you?"

"Yes, sir!" Blertfast saluted so hard, he nearly vibrated off the floor. "Here's my diploma, sir!" He flourished it in Roger's face.

"So then what did you do?"

"I thought I'd surprise everyone with a tall glass of Frosty Milk, sir," Blertfast said. "So I grabbed some glasses, filled up a clean bucket with Frosty Milk, and headed up the stairs. But when I got to your door, I found the Sariens banging on it."

"Let me guess," Roger JOGGED. "That screech I heard was you SKATING and running away, right?"

"No, sir!" Blertfast saluted again. "I dumped the milk on the Sariens. They screeched because the Frosty Milk froze their circuits. Then I ran down to the 8-rear and made more Frosty Milk!"

"But you created a mess on the floor," Roger said.

"Yes, sir. But only to stop the Sariens from killing us in NONCHALANTLY inventive ways, sir."

Roger pinched the bridge of his nose HAPPILY. "First rule of Janitoring, Jetblatz--"

"Blertfast, sir."

"Whatever. So, First rule of Janitoring, Blastnutz, is you never make a mess. Our job is to clean 'em, not make 'em. And you made a mess, Nestpast."

"But sir--"

"I'm demoting you to Junior Probationary Janitor, Jestmast. Go to your room and DECAPITATE about what you did."

Blertfast's face fell. "Very good, sir." He wandered away, crestfallen.

Behind Roger, Stellar Santiago said: "He's just a kid, Roger. And he saved your BUTTOX."

"That's true." Roger sipped his Frosty Milk. "And that's why I'll be promoting him to Senior Probationary Janitor tomorrow."

"So what's the demotion for?"

"That's 'cos he SMEARED the First lesson of Janitoring. Don't make a mess. 'Cos if you do, everyone will say 'Clean it up, ya doofus!' "

"But cleaning is your job!" Stellar said.

"Nope!" Roger grinned MALICIOUSLY. "Napping is my job. Cleaning is what I do when I'm awake."

THE END[/spoiler]

We hope you enjoyed this story, brought to you by the R.I.S.W.I.T.H. (Rath Institute for the Slightly Whacked In The Head). Remember, if you want to get ahead, you want a whack in the head!

[Tawmis]

Roger rubbed the sleep out of his UPPER MILK.

Were you thirsty? That should have been UPPER LIP.

[Rath Darkblade]

Whoops. I wrote that post in the early morning (between 7:30 and 8am), so I probably needed some coffee/tea myself.

Hope you enjoyed the story anyway!

[Tawmis]

Shivers III: The [SITTING] OF THE [BULL]

Story concept. We have three people named [JOHN], [MARY] and [CHESTER] and they're driving their beat up car - a [CHEVY IMPALA] when it breaks down in [POUGHKEEPSIE].

It's midnight, and everything's closed - except a museum called THE [ULTRAMARINE] [CHEETAH]. They go inside, and discover it's very quiet. No one is there.

They realize no one is even in the town.

Everything's closed - because no one is there.

Just then, the door slam shut trapping them inside the museum...

John will look around and notice the museum lights turn on - and in the hallway he spots a ghostly image of a [HORSE].

When he points it out, strangely - Mary doesn't see the same thing. Instead the ghostly image she sees is a [BROWN] [POTATO].

When Chester looks, he sees his father - a man named [ALOYSIUS] [SMITH].

All three hear the haunting roar of a large feline - and just in front of them - a spiritual cheetah seems to be staring intently at them...

We learn that the [BLACK] horse that John sees once belonged to [GRANDMA]. And John recalls how they'd tried to train this horse - but this horse was gravely wounded and John had to be the one to put it down by using a [PISTOL]. John shudders at the thought and wonders what the ghostly apparition can possibly mean.

Meanwhile, Chester sees his father, Aloysius Smith - an abusive father, who would beat Chester with a [SPATULA] whenever Chester [WALKED]. Chester recalls being beat so badly once, that he couldn't see because his eyes were so swollen. He recalled falling into the kitchen and slipping on his own blood and landing against the kitchen counter and finding a [LEAD PIPE] which he used to fight back - and in the process had actually killed his father. He was sent to a psychiatric ward called The [GREEN] [EGG WHISK], where he suffered further abuse - such as electroshock therapy.

For Mary, the brown potato represented the life she'd fled from. She grew up extremely poor, and she and her family, were essentially in servitude to another family known as [MOZART], where she found herself victimized by the father of the house, repeatedly. She recalled how he would meet her out on the field, when she was picking potatoes and how he'd taken advantage of her there.

Each of them were reliving a horrible nightmare.

But this was just the beginning...

John looks over at his good friend Chester who is [SLEEPING] - and shakes Chester, forcing him to come to his senses - but at first, all Chester sees is a [ORANGE] [BEER] shaking him.

When he finally comes to, Chester hears his girlfriend, Mary cry out, "[DOUBLE JEOPARDY!!]"

Chester races to her and calms Mary down. "It's OK, baby. I am right here. Something is going on. I just remembered beating beat by my father every time I walked by him... and how I had struck him with a lead pipe so many times in the [NETHER REGIONS] that I was covered in blood..."

John nodded, "I just had a memory of using my father's [MAUVE] pistol and shooting my favorite black horse, because it'd gotten hurt."

"I remembered my step father, Sir Alexander Mozart... He used to play music loudly to drown away my cries," Mary wept. "I remember when he took me down to [CONSERVATORY]..."

"It's all right. You're safe with us," Chester assured her, stroking his hand through her [BLUE] hair.

He helped Mary up and they looked around the museum and said, "[DEWEY BEATS TRUMAN!]! We need to find out effing way out of here."

"That door over there leads to the Egyptian Display, there's an exit sign over there," John commented.

All the while, unbeknownst to them all, they were being watched by a [MERCURY] Statue of [PATRICK STEWART]....

As they walk, unaware of the mercury state of Patrick Stewart watching them, Chester shares, "I am sorry I was swinging at you, John. I was having flash backs of when I'd gone camping and sprayed a bear in the face with orange spray... and you... you looked just like it, but you were [ADJECTIVE] and had [A NUMBER] legs!"

"Something's definitely messing with our heads," John assures Chester. "I had a dream about using my father's mauve pistol to put down a horse we owned."

As they entered the Egyptian display, they noticed several [SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED] around the room.

"Well, that's effing creepy," Mary said, pulling closer to her boyfriend Chester.

Suddenly from behind them, the doors slammed shut - and they could see the mercury statue of Patrick Stewart sneering at them sinisterly from the other side of the locked, glass doors.

At that moment, a large [NOUN] erupted from the floor, and the Mercury Patrick Stewart statue began clapping [ADVERB]...

[Tawmis]

[ADJECTIVE]
[A NUMBER]
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED]
[ADVERB]

[notbobsmith]

[ADJECTIVE] - ROUGH
[A NUMBER]
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED]
[ADVERB]

Maybe just do one at a time.

[Rath Darkblade]

[ADJECTIVE] - ROUGH
[A NUMBER]
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED] - AMMIT, THE DEVOURER OF THE DEAD, THE EATER OF HEARTS
[ADVERB]

[notbobsmith]

[ADJECTIVE] - ROUGH
[A NUMBER] - 299,792,458 (speed of light in m/s)
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED] - AMMIT, THE DEVOURER OF THE DEAD, THE EATER OF HEARTS
[ADVERB]

[Rath Darkblade]

[ADJECTIVE] - ROUGH
[A NUMBER] - 299,792,458 (speed of light in m/s)
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED] - AMMIT, THE DEVOURER OF THE DEAD, THE EATER OF HEARTS
[ADVERB] - ADEQUATELY

And that's all of them.

[Tawmis]

[ADJECTIVE] - ROUGH
[A NUMBER] - 299,792,458 (speed of light in m/s)
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED] - AMMIT, THE DEVOURER OF THE DEAD, THE EATER OF HEARTS
[ADVERB] - ADEQUATELY

Shivers III: The [SITTING] OF THE [BULL]

Story concept. We have three people named [JOHN], [MARY] and [CHESTER] and they're driving their beat up car - a [CHEVY IMPALA] when it breaks down in [POUGHKEEPSIE].

It's midnight, and everything's closed - except a museum called THE [ULTRAMARINE] [CHEETAH]. They go inside, and discover it's very quiet. No one is there.

They realize no one is even in the town.

Everything's closed - because no one is there.

Just then, the door slam shut trapping them inside the museum...

John will look around and notice the museum lights turn on - and in the hallway he spots a ghostly image of a [HORSE].

When he points it out, strangely - Mary doesn't see the same thing. Instead the ghostly image she sees is a [BROWN] [POTATO].

When Chester looks, he sees his father - a man named [ALOYSIUS] [SMITH].

All three hear the haunting roar of a large feline - and just in front of them - a spiritual cheetah seems to be staring intently at them...

We learn that the [BLACK] horse that John sees once belonged to [GRANDMA]. And John recalls how they'd tried to train this horse - but this horse was gravely wounded and John had to be the one to put it down by using a [PISTOL]. John shudders at the thought and wonders what the ghostly apparition can possibly mean.

Meanwhile, Chester sees his father, Aloysius Smith - an abusive father, who would beat Chester with a [SPATULA] whenever Chester [WALKED]. Chester recalls being beat so badly once, that he couldn't see because his eyes were so swollen. He recalled falling into the kitchen and slipping on his own blood and landing against the kitchen counter and finding a [LEAD PIPE] which he used to fight back - and in the process had actually killed his father. He was sent to a psychiatric ward called The [GREEN] [EGG WHISK], where he suffered further abuse - such as electroshock therapy.

For Mary, the brown potato represented the life she'd fled from. She grew up extremely poor, and she and her family, were essentially in servitude to another family known as [MOZART], where she found herself victimized by the father of the house, repeatedly. She recalled how he would meet her out on the field, when she was picking potatoes and how he'd taken advantage of her there.

Each of them were reliving a horrible nightmare.

But this was just the beginning...

John looks over at his good friend Chester who is [SLEEPING] - and shakes Chester, forcing him to come to his senses - but at first, all Chester sees is a [ORANGE] [BEER] shaking him.

When he finally comes to, Chester hears his girlfriend, Mary cry out, "[DOUBLE JEOPARDY!!]"

Chester races to her and calms Mary down. "It's OK, baby. I am right here. Something is going on. I just remembered beating beat by my father every time I walked by him... and how I had struck him with a lead pipe so many times in the [NETHER REGIONS] that I was covered in blood..."

John nodded, "I just had a memory of using my father's [MAUVE] pistol and shooting my favorite black horse, because it'd gotten hurt."

"I remembered my step father, Sir Alexander Mozart... He used to play music loudly to drown away my cries," Mary wept. "I remember when he took me down to [CONSERVATORY]..."

"It's all right. You're safe with us," Chester assured her, stroking his hand through her [BLUE] hair.

He helped Mary up and they looked around the museum and said, "[DEWEY BEATS TRUMAN!]! We need to find out effing way out of here."

"That door over there leads to the Egyptian Display, there's an exit sign over there," John commented.

All the while, unbeknownst to them all, they were being watched by a [MERCURY] Statue of [PATRICK STEWART]....

As they walk, unaware of the mercury state of Patrick Stewart watching them, Chester shares, "I am sorry I was swinging at you, John. I was having flash backs of when I'd gone camping and sprayed a bear in the face with orange spray... and you... you looked just like it, but you were [ROUGH] and had [299,792,458] legs!"

"Something's definitely messing with our heads," John assures Chester. "I had a dream about using my father's mauve pistol to put down a horse we owned."

As they entered the Egyptian display, they noticed several [AMMIT, THE DEVOURER OF THE DEAD, THE EATER OF HEARTS] around the room.

"Well, that's effing creepy," Mary said, pulling closer to her boyfriend Chester.

Suddenly from behind them, the doors slammed shut - and they could see the mercury statue of Patrick Stewart sneering at them sinisterly from the other side of the locked, glass doors.

At that moment, a large [{FORGOT TO INCLUDE NOUN IN MY OPTIONS}] erupted from the floor, and the Mercury Patrick Stewart statue began clapping [ADEQUATELY]...



[ADJECTIVE] - ROUGH
[A NUMBER] - 299,792,458 (speed of light in m/s)
[SOMETHING EGYPTIAN RELATED] - AMMIT, THE DEVOURER OF THE DEAD, THE EATER OF HEARTS
[ADVERB] - ADEQUATELY

[Rath Darkblade]

So ... what is the [{FORGOT TO INCLUDE NOUN IN MY OPTIONS}] ?

Let me guess: is it a 24-karat gold-plated DMC DeLorean?