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Actually, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure I produce my own love-reducing spell... but it only works when I need it least.

And heck, I'll replace the suit! I'll even get you the pants, shoes, shave, haircut, wineglass, and aura of supremacy to go with it!

*ChandlerBing wrote:Actually, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure I produce my own love-reducing spell... but it only works when I need it least.

And heck, I'll replace the suit! I'll even get you the pants, shoes, shave, haircut, wineglass, and aura of supremacy to go with it!

I could help you out with a love-not spell, but I'd need your heart. Or you could ask my boss, but he's out fighting bombers right now.

*Calcifer wrote: I could help you out with a love-not spell, but I'd need your heart. Or you could ask my boss, but he's out fighting bombers right now.

Equivalent exchange. How unoriginal...I know a stubborn alchemist who could do better - and he wouldn't even need a heart!

...anyways, you wouldn't happen to work for Alculard, would you, Calcifer?

*ChandlerBing wrote:Actually, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure I produce my own love-reducing spell... but it only works when I need it least.

And heck, I'll replace the suit! I'll even get you the pants, shoes, shave, haircut, wineglass, and aura of supremacy to go with it!

So long as you only buy me a suit - and only if it get damaged while I'm doing my job - you've got a deal. Besides, I suspect you'll need the money you'd otherwise spend decking me out with the latest 18th-century-style garb to impress the woman of your dreams, keep up your house, and pay for necessities.

But...erm a celerbrerty too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

I'm late, I know. I'm sorry. Really, guys. Problem is... well, I can't exactly remember the last days. I was in Oregon, and then... Oh, well. I'm here now.

*Fox Mulder wrote:I'm late, I know. I'm sorry. Really, guys. Problem is... well, I can't exactly remember the last days. I was in Oregon, and then... Oh, well. I'm here now.

I know that feeling...

*Calcifer wrote:

*ChandlerBing wrote:Actually, now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure I produce my own love-reducing spell... but it only works when I need it least.

And heck, I'll replace the suit! I'll even get you the pants, shoes, shave, haircut, wineglass, and aura of supremacy to go with it!

I could help you out with a love-not spell, but I'd need your heart. Or you could ask my boss, but he's out fighting bombers right now.

Might as well, some people say that the part of my heart that counts is dead anyways.

*Loremaster wrote: ...anyways, you wouldn't happen to work for Alculard, would you, Calcifer?

I work for Howell Jenkins, the most talented young wizard in the history of his nation, Wales. I'd send him here to say a few words , to teach Ron a thing or two and to dance with Ermagherd, but he's in the bathtub right now. As usual. Sometimes I wonder how come his skin doesn't come off with all that scrubbing. On the bright side, he doesn't eat much, so I get a lot of left-overs. Yu-um.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to move the castle 60 miles to the west.

*Fox Mulder wrote:I'm late, I know. I'm sorry. Really, guys. Problem is... well, I can't exactly remember the last days. I was in Oregon, and then... Oh, well. I'm here now.

Master wrote: Alas! the world is full of enormous lights and mysteries, and man shuts them from himself with one small hand!

*Monk wrote:

Master wrote: Alas! the world is full of enormous lights and mysteries, and man shuts them from himself with one small hand!

Hey, are you the guy from that Carpenter movie? Big Trouble in Little China?

*Fox Mulder wrote:I'm late, I know. I'm sorry. Really, guys. Problem is... well, I can't exactly remember the last days. I was in Oregon, and then... Oh, well. I'm here now.

Welcome back, Agent Mulder! Yes, I am aware you weren't here earlier, what with being abducted. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Loremaster, scribe to Her Highness Hope in a kingdom far, far away where magic is quite real. If you'd like to employ my services sometime, I might be able to use the Book of Life to aid you in your quest for The Truth. (Of course, none of the book's contents will ever qualify as valid evidence in a court of law - believe me, I've tried and it never works. In ten different dimensions and two universes, no less!)

Also, beware of what you post on these forums, especially if it concerns The Truth. There's a rather high-ranking brigadier general by the name of Diane Beckman stalking this place.

*Fox Mulder wrote:

*Monk wrote:

Master wrote: Alas! the world is full of enormous lights and mysteries, and man shuts them from himself with one small hand!

Hey, are you the guy from that Carpenter movie? Big Trouble in Little China?

Movie ? In our monestary we don't have them.

*Monk wrote: Movie ? In our monestary we don't have them.

A movie is a story or event recorded by a camera, a device which can capture images from real-life onto special pieces of paper called film, as a set of moving images. These images are then processed using various chemicals, put onto (seemingly) magical devices known as computers, and converted into a format which can be displayed either in a place called a movie theater, which is specifically designed to show movies on many rectangular fabric sheets called screens, or on a television, a rectangular box which can display images on its glass plate, which is also called a screen.

I'd link you to some good websites on the subject, but I don't know how much time your master allows for Internet usage.

I should be okay now. I'm not sure what happened, but Professor Squirrel placed a blocking hex on Wikipedia and enchanted my keyboard so I can't type "inappropriate slang" or "oh, my god" anymore (I am sorry, Ermahgerd Girl.) So I have to finish my muggle studies essay using only stuff on your Google page. Please let me know what you think because Hermione doesn't want to help me anymore.

THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN L SULLIVAN
by Ron Weasley

John L. Sullivan was a Boston Strong Boy and the first Heavyweight Champion of Chevrolet Dealers in Sacramento. He was such a natural fighting animal that they named Irish Whiskey after him. One time he was fighting Chevrolet Dealers with a hammer when the evil Ford and GM sent General Motors after them. So Sullivan and Chevrolet Dealers had to team up and fight General Motors together using only one muggle hammer. So Sullivan and Chevrolet got married after and Sullivan managed to rear end (?) her (him?) and hospitalized a teenager who later turned into a werewolf named Michael Landon. John Sullivan also invented British television when no one was looking.

THE END

I think I'm going to quit this class.

*Loremaster wrote: Also, beware of what you post on these forums, especially if it concerns The Truth. There's a rather high-ranking brigadier general by the name of Diane Beckman stalking this place.

Oh, I've known about Agent Mulder for a while. My counterpart in the FBI has told me some very interesting things regarding him and his partner.