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"Soy to the World" (Parody of "Joy to the World", Watts/Handel). A jingle to sell soy sauce! I wrote this while under lockdown during the COVID pandemic.

VERSE:
Soy to the world! We made some rice;
We'll serve it up with spice!

What shall we have for dinner?
We are not getting thinner --

CHORUS:
Because we're stuck at home;
Trust us, we'd like to roam;
We'd love to travel --
perhaps to Rome.

VERSE:
Troy to the world! Let's go to Greece;
We'll find the Golden Fleece!

That Trojan Horse is massive
but we will not be passive;

CHORUS:
We've got a time machine
(Not dirty - very clean)
We'll go to the 70s,
See B. Jean King.

VERSE:
Soy to the world! It's very yum;
from China did it come.

Let's put some on the chicken
(don't call it finger-lickin')

CHORUS:
And have a wholesome meal
(for some it's a big deal);
If you don't like chicken,
then have some veal!

No comments, eh?

How about ... "I Like Splurgin'" (parody of "Like a Virgin" by Madonna). A song about -- what else? -- someone who can't budget their money.

I was unfamiliar with the song, so wasn't sure what the parody was.

I am, by no means, a Weird Al.

I can write unique lyrics to music, but not if someone else has. Because then that's all I hear. Unless done as well as Weird Al, who can often make me forget the original.

Er ... you don't know "Joy to the World"? It's one of the most famous Christmas songs. Here (but careful - there's a lot of unnecessary drum business).

As for "Like a Surgeon" ... sure, Weird Al did it really well. (I was thinking of "Like a Verger", but couldn't think two seconds without singing "Cuttin' for the very first time!")

How about ... "Fad" (parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson) ... about, well, really -- any fad you like. Or fads. Troll dolls, selfie sticks, reality TV ... you name it -- it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

On a similar note ... "Cat" (parody of "Fat") ... all about your favourite feline friend!

Or, maybe ... *thinks* Just for the hero in QfG5!

"Your Heroscope For Today"
(parody of "Your Horoscope For Today" by "Weird Al" Yankovic)

AQUARIUS!
Excitement is in your future when you are just the one to battle a dragon - red!
It will be quite exciting if you think that baking in chainmail will bring you joy

PISCES!
Try to avoid any Cancers and Libras who-o are good assassins
Those harem pants suit you quite well, no matter what Ferrari or Ugarte say

ARIES!
The look on your face will be priceless when Arestes sends you to steal a trireme from Andre
If he says "Just kidding" give him the bird, then give a wedgie to Fenrus too

TAURUS!
You will go on quests forever more - you can't do anything about it
And I predict tomorrow you'll wake up, rush about on a quest and then go back to sleep

Chorus:
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today

GEMINI!
Your good ol' breakfast will be ruined once again by Gnome Ann's bungling clown cooks
Your exploits will run into trouble when Hesperians shoot a crossbow bolt through your head

CANCER!
The position of Saturn implies that you should spend the rest of your cash on papier-mache!
Try not to fall upon your sharp and shiny sword while fighting a monster too...

LEO!
Now is not a good time to go depositing cash into the bank that Sam built, oh no
Eat a plate of Marrak's PJ pizza, then wash it down with a gallon of water to boot

VIRGO!
All Virgos are extremely gracious, gifted, bright and quick - except for you!
Expect a big surprise today, when Ferrari sticks your head upon a big ol' spear

Chorus:
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today

Now you may think that these are counterfeit
or at the very least a little phony calculations and big prophecies
'cos after all the planets spin around the sun at all times,
therefore there could be no moment when they speak of only you,
but let me give an affirmation that these prophecies and guesses
were all reasoned and concluded by the good Doctor Pretorius,
so you would have to be a little stupid not to comprehend
that of these divinations, they are all completely true.

Where was I?

LIBRA!
Some help from Rajah is just around the corner - for everybody else except for you
Potions are the very best medicine, remember that when the assassin kills next week

SCORPIO!
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming into Mount Draconis
Work a little bit harder on improving your balance and poise, you clumsy fool

SAGITTARIUS!
All your clothes are getting malodorous... WASH THEM!
Note down all those honour speeches that Rakeesh gave you while a-sitting on his rock

CAPRICORN!
The stars say that Magnum's a thrilling and brilliant person... but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never let him in again

Chorus:
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today

That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today
That's your heroscope for todayy-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay
That's your heroscope for today!

No comments, eh? Well, how about ...

My Sweet Horde - Sauron writes a lovely ballad for his BLOODTHIRSTY Orcs, Trolls and Goblins.

It hits the charts at number one with a bullet er, crossbow bolt.

("My Sweet Lord", George Harrison)

OR ...

My Tweet Lord - A sweet ballad for the person who's tweeted the most.

("My Sweet Lord", George Harrison)

Feel free to write one if you wish. I don't know how the song goes -- I've just heard of it.

Ah, all these songs, my unexpanded mind doesn't know. (Or at the very least recognize by title - the George Harrison stuff, I of course recognize Weird Al)

Well ...


It's a wonderful video. And you might see a few familiar faces along the way.

Oh yeah, I've heard the song; would never have known it without actually hearing it again.

Not really a song, but ...

Appetite for Construction (parody of "Appetite for Destruction"). Axl and the boys get a hair-cut and a real job.

Not a song at all, but ...

Mork and Monday. Mork encounters Mondayitis. Nanu nanu!

It's been nearly a year since anyone posted here. Let's get this game going again.

"Great Wall of China"
(parody of "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis; written 30/12/2013)

They built it so many years in the past;
Some people said that it never would last.
And now it's here -
Let's have a beer!
Goodness gracious, Great Wall of China!

(band joins in)

So many tribes tried to break it all down,
But it made all of 'em look jus' like clowns.
So very strong -
Never wrong -
Goodness gracious, Great Wall of China!

It's so stony -
Woo... looks good!
It's not bony -
Oh, and it can never be a-used as food
It's stone -
Not gone -
Mongols would not leave it all alo-o-o-one!

The river Yangtze, it runs all along
It's quite extensive - it sure is long
They built a wall -
'Twill never fall -
Goodness gracious, Great Wall of China!

(piano solo)

Well, it's so stony -
Woo... looks good!
It's not bony -
Oh, and it can't ever be a-used as food
It's stone -
Not gone -
Mongols would not leave it all alo-o-o-one!

The river Yangtze, it runs all along
It's quite extensive - it sure is long
They built a wall -
'Twill never fall -
Goodness gracious, Great Wall of China!

(guitar solo)

(piano solo)

(guitar and piano jam)

I said -- goodness gracious, Great Wall of China!
Oooh!

Does anyone want to continue this?

This one's pretty much always been you.