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[VERB] - CHURN
[VERB] - SWEAT
[VERB] - SPLASH
[ADJECTIVE] - SALTY
[BODY PART] - EAR LOBE
[BODY PART] - FINGER TIP - JUST THE TIP
[VERB] - TASTING
[NOUN] - CHEETAH
[EMERGENCY NUMBER] - 1-976-SEXY
[STEREOTYPICAL EVIL LAUGH] - Tee Hee Hee
[BODY PART] - THE SPACE BETWEEN YOUR BIG TOE AND THE OTHER TOE
[BODY PART] - NAVEL
[ELECTRICAL KITCHEN APPLIANCE] - SMOKING GUN
[KITCHEN TOOL] - THE CHEETAH 5000 BLENDER
[ANOTHER KITCHEN TOOL] - MEAT TENDERIZER
[EXTREMELY HIGH SPACE RANK] - GRAND HIGH POOBAH OF THE IMPERIAL DEATH FLEET OF DOOM
[UNIMPRESSIVE, ONE-SYLLABLE MAN'S NAME] - JOE

And that's all of them. And the space between the toes is called the toe webspace.

SPACE QUEST XXXIII: SLUDGE VOHAUL GOES FOR BROKE

On that day, Roger Wilco woke up, smacked his lips, and headed for the coffee machine. But at the bottom of the pot, there was nothing left but a coffee stain!!!

"Oh yeah, you guys - real mature!" Roger CHURNED as he brewed up a fresh pot of coffee. But when it had finished SWEATING, there was only a stain left and no coffee at all!!!

This can't be right, Roger thought. Who would SPLASH a prank like this?

Just as he was thinking this, the screens on the ship buzzed into life and revealed a SALTY face. "Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"

Roger rolled his EAR LOBE. I just had to ask, didn't I.

"Sludge Vohaul!" he said through gritted FINGER TIPS - JUST THE TIPS. "What do you want this time?"

"This time?" Sludge's eyes opened very, very wide. "Whatever do you mean?"

"The coffee--"

"Oh, you found the coffee pots!" Sludge Vohaul TASTED. "Well done. That's only step one of my brilliant CHEETAH, my inevitable triumph!"

Roger was already on the phone, calling 1-976-SEXY for the space police. But there was no answer.

"Go ahead! Shout it from the rooftops!" Sludge Vohaul exulted. "Everybody knows that you killed me. No-one will believe you!" He launched into another one of his trademark evil laughs: "TEE-HEE-HEE(TM)!!!"

Roger sighed and shifted from TOE WEBSPACE to NAVEL. "So what are you here for?"

"Oh, THAT." Sludge Vohaul looked bored. "I've simply uploaded a virus to all your onboard computers that breaks all the electrical kitchen appliances! Your coffee pots, your kettles, your toasters, your SMOKING GUNS -- all useless!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa--"

"I get the picture. So we have to find and kill this virus before lunch, yeah?"

"My dear Roger," Vohaul said in snide tones, "you have to do that before you can have coffee!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa--"

"Shut up." Roger switched the monitor off. There's only one thing for it. He slapped on an apron and a chef's hat, and grabbed a CHEETAH 5000 BLENDER and MEAT TENDERIZER. Let's get those eggs whisked and use the engines to make fried eggs and bacon for breakfast!

And Commander Kielbasa smiled at this ingenuity, and promoted Roger to GRAND HIGH POOBAH OF THE IMPERIAL DEATH FLEET OF DOOM, and the virus was found and eliminated by a member of engineering called ...

... JOE. Sure. Let's go with that.

THE END

Well. That makes about as much sense as a kettle made out of cheese. Who's next?

So ... who's next?

Oh hey, it's me I think?

Could be. How'd you like my Space Quest story?

Rath Darkblade wrote: ↑Fri Apr 22, 2022 8:43 am Could be. How'd you like my Space Quest story?

Pretty funny - and it's always cool when the things land correctly (like tasting the coffee).

[NOUN]
[SIERRA CHARACTER]
[NAME OF A BUSINESS]
[JOB TITLE]
[NAME OF A MALE]
[COLOR]
[ANIMAL]

[NOUN] - SUITCASE
[SIERRA CHARACTER]
[NAME OF A BUSINESS]
[JOB TITLE]
[NAME OF A MALE]
[COLOR]
[ANIMAL] - AARDVARK (I think I'll leave the cheetahs to you, Tawmis )

notbobsmith wrote: ↑Fri Apr 22, 2022 8:17 pm [ANIMAL] - AARDVARK (I think I'll leave the cheetahs to you, Tawmis )

I was like, "Someone's going to get me back by saying Cheetah."

Sigh. Once again, I replied to a thread on this board (this time, this one); once again, my reply has disappeared.

This is getting ridiculous.

I'll try to reconstruct from my shaky memory ...

[NOUN] - SUITCASE
[SIERRA CHARACTER] - LEISURE SUIT LARRY
[NAME OF A BUSINESS] - HARRY'S HOUSE OF HEAVENLY HAM (Harry sells ham. And nothing else. Harry's House of Ham would be a good business name. How about Harry's House of Hamburgers?)
[JOB TITLE]
[NAME OF A MALE]
[COLOR]
[ANIMAL] - AARDVARK (I think I'll leave the cheetahs to you, Tawmis )

[NOUN] - SUITCASE
[SIERRA CHARACTER] - LEISURE SUIT LARRY
[NAME OF A BUSINESS] - HARRY'S HOUSE OF HEAVENLY HAM (Harry sells ham. And nothing else. Harry's House of Ham would be a good business name. How about Harry's House of Hamburgers?)
[JOB TITLE] - MARKER OF THE SWANS
[NAME OF A MALE] - KELLY (From Wikipedia: Kelly is historically a male-only name, but has been used as a female given name since the 1960s)
[COLOR]
[ANIMAL] - AARDVARK (I think I'll leave the cheetahs to you, Tawmis )

[NOUN] - SUITCASE
[SIERRA CHARACTER] - LEISURE SUIT LARRY
[NAME OF A BUSINESS] - HARRY'S HOUSE OF HEAVENLY HAM (Harry sells ham. And nothing else. Harry's House of Ham would be a good business name. How about Harry's House of Hamburgers?)
[JOB TITLE] - MARKER OF THE SWANS
[NAME OF A MALE] - KELLY (From Wikipedia: Kelly is historically a male-only name, but has been used as a female given name since the 1960s)
[COLOR] - YELLOW
[ANIMAL] - AARDVARK (I think I'll leave the cheetahs to you, Tawmis )

And that's all of them!

[NOUN] - SUITCASE
[SIERRA CHARACTER] - LEISURE SUIT LARRY
[NAME OF A BUSINESS] - HARRY'S HOUSE OF HEAVENLY HAM (Harry sells ham. And nothing else. Harry's House of Ham would be a good business name. How about Harry's House of Hamburgers?)
[JOB TITLE] - MARKER OF THE SWANS
[NAME OF A MALE] - KELLY (From Wikipedia: Kelly is historically a male-only name, but has been used as a female given name since the 1960s)
[COLOR] - YELLOW
[ANIMAL] - AARDVARK (I think I'll leave the cheetahs to you, Tawmis )

And that's all of them!

Laura Bow and the Mechanical [SUITCASE]

As Laura Bow walked across the street, she waved to [LEISURE SUIT LARRY] whom she hadn't seen in a long time.

They approached Laura and asked how she was and what she was doing.

"Oh me?" Laura asked, her soft, gentle voice sounding like southern music. "Well, I plan to go to [HARRY'S HOUSE OF HEAVENLY HAM] and apply for a job."

"Apply for a job?" they asked. "I thought you were working as a [MARKER OF THE SWANS]?"

"Well, I was, but I didn't care for how [KELLY] kept looking at me," she admitted.

"Oh yes," they nodded. "All too familiar with them. Saw them leering at me a time or two."

The two parted ways and Laura continued on her way. She reached the building she was going to apply at, and noted the unusual color of the [YELLOW] exterior.

"Well, what was I to expect apply at {YELLOW} [AARDVARK]?"

With a deep sigh, she entered the door...

Laura Bow knows Leisure Suit Larry? Kelly is leering at Leisure Suit Larry? I didn't think Larry would have a problem with that.

I think it's NBS's turn next.