Tawmis wrote: ↑Fri May 06, 2022 11:55 am
Rath Darkblade wrote: ↑Fri May 06, 2022 8:15 am
Sigh ... what's going on here? My reply got deleted again.
Wait - someone added the extra AND ... in my original post it's not there.
Exactly. In the words of Bugs Bunny: "Something screwy is going on around here."
Anyway...
SPACE QUEST XIII: THE OL' MOP AND FBUCKET (naughty Roger! -Ed.)
One day, Roger was mopping the floors as usual, when he discovered that the water in his bucket was dirty.
At the same time, Commander Kielbasa was putting the ship through the ultra-mega-super-hyperdrive. So the spaceship ended up in ... *TA-DA!* Planet SHKPR-10458, where everyone spoke like a Shakespeare character! (What a bizarre plot device!)
As the ship landed, there came the sound of a tucket (a flourish on a trumpet -Ed.) without. But Roger's shirt came out of his trousers, so he tucked it within.
Roger pressed the button to
WALLOW the door, and lo! There at the door
JOGGED a messenger.
"
HAIL AND I'M WET! NO, WAIT A MINUTE..." He cried. "I bring a message from Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth of England! Her Majesty biddeth thee greetings, O angels from the heavens, and wisheth to invite thee to visit her and discuss business opportunities." He bowed and gave Roger a scroll.
Roger bowed in return. "
'SUP. I will take your message to my captain. Why do you call us angels?"
The messenger looked confused. "Thou camest from out of the skies, from the heavens, so thou must be angels. Be that not so?"
What should I say? Roger thought. "Um, yes indeed! We bring you greetings from the gods--"
"Surely thou meanest God?"
"Yeah, that's right!" Roger said
PARADOXICALLY.
"Why dost thou carry a mop, O Angel?" The messenger said.
"Um, 'cos cleanliness is next to godliness?"
"I see. God save 'ee, O Angel, and may flights of cornets sing thee to thy rest--"
"Yes, fine," Roger [b[CLIMBED[/B] hurriedly.
He's clearly mad, but he has the backing of this Queen thing behind him. "Only, you see, I'm not a very superior kind of angel, so I must take your message to my capt-- er, chief-- er, arch-angel, Kielbasa.
I SAY, GOODBYE, GOOD SIR!" He shut the
SULLEN.
(Oops - I meant to say noun, not adjective -Ed.)
Well! There's a turn-up for the data-cubes, or scrolls, or whatever. We're back in Shakespeare's time! Maybe we'll even meet him? I wonder.
Then the PA came to life, and Kielbasa's voice said: "
PROBATIONARY APPRENTICE SPACEHAND FIFTH CLASS Wilco.
PROBATIONARY APPRENTICE SPACEHAND FIFTH CLASS Roger Wilco. Report to the bridge
SUSPICIOUSLY."
Roger hurried to the bridge. "Commander Kielbasa!" he burbled. "You'll never believe this! We're back in Queen Elizabeth's time, and a messenger from the Queen just gave me this scroll!" He tried to hand it over.
"What is this foolishness?" Kielbasa's tone was cold. "You bumbling
KANIGGIT, Wilco! I called you in here because you didn't
SWALLOW my toilet! Now get to it, sharpish!" (:shock: -Ed.)
"Will do, Commander. But about this message--"
"I will deal with it, Wilco. Dismissed." Commander Kielbasa picked up a
CHEETAH, breathed into it, and barked: "Attention all hands! We must disguise ourselves as Elizabethans, so we need doublets -- I repeat, doublets!"
"And singlets!" Roger added.
"Shut up, Wilco!" Kielbasa
CONFUSED. "Go on and clean my toilet! As for the rest of you - get some doublet, hose, large ruffs, hats with feathers, and
MACES. Yes,
MACES. We're going to do some reconnaissance."
===================================
To be continued ... maybe
