1.
Cell Phone.
2. While our spy is waiting for his dry martini (stirred, not shaken), he uses his cell phone to play silly games, like "Raging Fowls".
Then a woman in a low-cut red dress and a fur toque sits on the stool opposite him. "Mind if I smoke?" She drawls. Our spy - let's call him Frank, why not - offers her a light.
Book of Matches.
3. Our hero - Frank Whynot - offers her a light - but then writes his room number on the match book and hands it to her say, "In case you need to ... turn up the heat." He finishes his drink and returns to his room where he picks up the phone and says, "I've made contact."
USB Storage Key
4. Frank learns the location of the spy headquarters with information from the USB key. In the dark, moonless night he approaches the Mediterranean Villa.
Pocket knife
5. Frank Whynot is caught, beaten up, and tied up by the villain's goons!
But when he comes to, he grips the pocket knife in his teeth, flips it up high (aiming for it to land behind him) and it lands and slices through his not-very-expertly tied hands!
(Please don't ask how he knew that would work. This is a James Bond parody, isn't it?)
Heavily souped-up car with weapons popping out of the hood and other bizarre things.
6. Frank Whynot knows that the super souped up car has a tracker on it - so he drives it in the opposite direction - uses his pocket knife to slice the tires, calls an Pick'EmUp Ride service - and heads in the opposite direction. The driver is none other than Neva Suspek, a fellow agent - who slides him a key.
Key
7. But Frank Whynot knows that Neva Suspek (
) is a double-agent!
So Frank immediately arrests Neva and hands him over to the FBI!
Now Frank drives the Pick'EmUp car in the
opposite opposite direction. Fortunately, the key has a label that says "Hilton Hotel, LA, Suite 4." So Frank checks into the suite, where he finds ... *dun dun dunnnn!* Some blueprints!
Blueprints.
8. Frank Whynot takes the blueprints and hears the enemy agents outside. Frank climbs out the window, using the curtains he tied together to go one floor down where he smashes through the window and enters a room with a nude man tied to a heart shaped bed. He tosses the man the pocket knife, but grabs the box of candy.
Box of Candy
9. Frank Whynot eats the candy and immediately develops tooth problems, so he has to go to the local dentist. The dentist, Mr Mwaha Ha, straps Frank to the chair and turns on the drill!
An electric drill!
Mr Ha is the mastermind!
And he's about to drill into Frank Whynot. And all Frank has on him is a shiny dime. Can Frank save the day?
Dime.
10. Frank flings the dime which hits the switch to a water pick. The water pick sprays Mr. Mwaha Ha in the eye. He loses control of the drill which then cuts into the electrical cord, shocking him. Frank gets out of the chair and removes the stunned Mr. Mwaha Ha's mask. "I knew it!" Frank says. "You're Mr. Johnson! The owner of the hotel!" "And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids...uh.... agent."