SHP Forums

We've all played lots of games and somewhere along the way, we must've read or heard something in at least one of them that that was funny, stupid, bewildering or just plain cool. You can use quotes from any game -- it doesn't have to be from Sierra or an Adventure Game -- and you can include statements from a narrator, as well.

I'll go first...

"Damn you, Captain! Damn you to hell!" -- Major Zach Colson, aka Jazz, Wing Commander II.

"Shake it, baby!" -- Duke Nukem, Duke Nukem 3D.

"Lab rats! Gandolas! Viva Las Vegas! Speed!" -- One of many audio taunts, Starsiege.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth!?" -- Practically any Sierra On-Line Adventure Game when typing in too many obscenities.

"That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage container, go ahead and rub your face all over it." -- GLaDOS, Portal.

"Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?" -- GLaDOS, Portal.

"Remember that time when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and you were like 'no way!' and I was like 'this is where we pretend to murder you?' That was great". -- GLaDOS, Portal.

"The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube cannot speak. In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice." -- GLaDOS, Portal.

"I am ERROR." -- Some freaky old man, Legend of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.

"Thank you, Mario! But our princess is in another castle!" -- Toad, Super Mario Bros.

Snake: This guy kind of gives me the creeps.
Colonel: That's Wario, Snake. Wario first appeared as Mario's rival, but he really made his name in the WarioWare games. Watch out for Wario's bite. It's not just damage you take from it.
Snake: What do you mean, Colonel?
Colonel: Wario loves garlic. He eats whole cloves of it day and night. So try not to get caught in his mouth. Once that smell gets on you, it'll stick to you for quite a while.
Snake: That's... a scary thought.
Colonel: He also attacks by farting. He can fart to fly around, too.
Snake: By farting...? Are you kidding me?!
Colonel: Sadly, no. I am not kidding. If his belly starts to bulge, watch out.
-- Snake and Colonel Campbell discussing Wario, Super Smash Bros Brawl.

"I'm on my way! I won't let Andross have his way with me." -- Fox McCloud, Starfox 64.

"I can't move!" -- Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye or the Vision, Captain America and the Avengers.

"Avoid dangerous objects!" -- Wise advice from the narrator, Gauntlet.

"Without a fairy, you're not even a real man!" -- Mido, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

"Say... now that we've got the Star Map, do you think we can leave this planet soon? I've got sand every where!" -- Mission Vao, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds." -- HK-47, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

"Suggestion: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?" -- HK-47, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

Bastila: "Fun? Fun!? You think driving me insane is fun!?"
Main Character: "Yes."
Bastila: "Men!"
-- Your character (if male) while speaking to Bastila, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

"They make a fine sandwich, too." -- Jolee Bindo talking about the Sith, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

"I don't collect art. And I also don't collect whatever THAT is." -- Ben, Full Throttle.

"For a brick, he flew pretty good!" -- Sergeant Johnson, Halo 2

And... practically anything and everything said in Katamari Damacy.

I'd like to add my signature: "Talk to coffee? Even Gabriel isn't that addicted!" (I really laughed out loud )

And then I'd also want to mention Gabriel's Poem (I'll put in bold the verses I like the most, which are also my favorite "days"):

I dreamt of blood upon the shore, of eyes that spoke of sin.
The lake was smooth, and deep, and black, as was her scented skin...
A mask I wore as I approached, I was what I am not.
And though the pattern was unclear, its meaning could be bought...
Drawn to Bacchus's abode, I sought there to conspire.
But it was in the city of the dead that I found my heart's desire...
I spoke to one who smelled of death, he gave to me his ears.
And crosses that were marked were made into a veil of tears...
The road was blocked, the truth was shunned, the white flag had been waved.
Reversal cost me all I had, and everything I'd braved...
And then the night became as day, I glimpsed nature's reddest claw!
The face of fear looked back at me as I gazed into the maw...
My last ally laid to waste, I ran towards the light.
I prayed for one to change my path, to give me strength to fight...
Inside a hidden chamber where I had no right to be,
I found the wheel at last or, could it be, the wheel found me...
And then the wheel went round and round, I could not find my way.
Twelve and three and turn the key, heard the madman say...
Deep in the earth I faced a fight that I could never win.
The blameless and the base destroyed, and all that might have been...

My personal favorites from Gary Owens in the SQ games:

"Now you've done it! You've reeeeaaaaally done it!"

"If you're staying in here, Graham, I'm going out there!"

"Don't touch that! We don't know where you've been!"

From Broken Sword 1:

George Stobbart: Let's just say I'm working in the interests of truth and justice.
Todryk: Ah, Thank God, I thought you were the police.

George Stobbart: You speak very good English for a French girl.
Nicole "Nico" Collard: Thanks. You speak very good English for an American

Moue: [pointing a gun at George] Freeze! Hold it... right there!
George Stobbart: Woah! Don't shoot! I'm innocent! I'm an American!
Moue: Can't make up your mind, huh?

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men - "ehuh?" - Lynch.

Gears of War - "Come on down, it's a ^$%king party." - Dom (I believe it was)

Those two just because my friend and I quote it so much now...

But for more serious ones I will think of them when I am at home (currently at work - hard to tell, right?)

*chuckles to herself at the GlaDOS quotes* That entire game was strangely humorous thanks to her.

I'm sure I have some other quotes I love, but most of them were in games played so long ago that they escape me. Except one.

The big bad "comic book" villain in Anachronox makes his dramatic entrance by doing the usual jump down out of nowhere. He then says, in a menacing and impossibly deep voice, "I shall KILL you...with DEATH!"

I don't know why, but that amuses me to no end.

Oh boy... I really can't remember anything, except for some QfG ones... Sorry. Anyway, here are some...

"How nice of you to come" - Ad Avis, QfG4, when you accept the invitation from 'Katrina' and show up at the castle gates.

"Once, a long time ago, I had a successful career... and I was also an elephant herder." - Ivan, QfG4
(Any of the Hans/Franz/Ivan arguments are funny, but that one amused me no end)

Anything that begins with "I, Magnum Opus..." (QfG5) is sure to be hilarious. For instance: "I, Magnum Opus, hero on the battlefield, fierce, fearsome and fearless in battle, shall now show this petty little city how great I am!" (or something like that)

"You are getting tired." - John Rhys-Davies (QfG4)... not a funny one as such, but it really stuck in my mind for a while after playing QfG4.

"Help me, oh kind and great hero." - The Fox (QfG1)... again, only funny in a sort of ironic way, since the hero (at that stage of QfG1) is only just beginning on his quest.

"Well look who just walked in. He spent so much time in the desert, his hair has gone yellow!" - Wilmer, QfG2... a nasty sort of man with nasty humour to match!

That's all I can think of for now... sorry.