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Until last Tuesday, I hoped against hope that there was some redemption for kids these days, but if they're all like the one I met on Tuesday by complete chance, then there's no hope for the next generation at all. :/

I had just gotten home from work and was emptying my pockets when I discovered a shopping list that I forgot about. No biggie, I had time to go to the supermarket and get my mustard. So I crossed the road to the tram stop and waited for the next tram in searing 27-degrees-C heat, still wearing my business suit (sans jacket, of course, which I haven't worn since summer began a month ago here in Australia). The tram arrived 5 minutes later, I got on and, feeling the heat, said with feeling "Oh, f***", and wiped the sweat off my forehead. A young chubby boy - not much older than 15 - was sitting near the door, and as I began walking to the back of the tram and fresher air, smirked and said "F*** you, p***ter". Slightly shocked, I coldly ignored him and kept on walking to the back. Once there, I noticed - out of the corner of my eye - that he was glaring at me sullenly for some reason. No idea why - all I did was show that I was feeling the heat.

As the tram was approaching my stop (about 2 minutes later), I walked back down to the door, which was in the middle of the tram. As I did so, I noticed him still glaring at me, and as I walked past he said "Get the f*** off, you f***head." I don't like picking on kids, and I don't go around looking for trouble, but all this was getting on my nerves - so the rest of it went literally like this:

Me: You got a problem, mate?
Him: Yeah, and it'll disappear when you get off.
Me: Don't try it, mate. I eat punks like you for breakfast.
Him: F*** off, you p***ter.

I considered my next move for a couple seconds. Obviously he wanted a fight, and while I didn't want to appear hostile, I didn't want to appear weak either. So in a moderate tone, and pronouncing every word clearly as if to an idiot, I said "You - just - go - away."

Him: You wanna piece of this?
Me: I don't want anything of yours. Just - leave - me - alone.

(By now I got to my stop and was getting out.)

Him: Yeah, you run away, you p***ter.
Me: (outside, giving him the bird)
Him: I come down there and kick your teeth down your throat, you f***ing...

At which point the door closed and the tram moved away.

So I just don't understand one thing. Why me? I didn't hurt him physically or do anything to provoke him. I'm guessing that he was obviously spoiling for a fight and it didn't matter with whom. Maybe he was just angry with the whole world and I was a convenient target. But why was he so angry in the first place? Sigh...

You don't have to be a trouble maker to get into trouble these days. Sadly, it occurs more and more frequently, as if it should be accepted as a normal thing... Did nobody else on the tram say anything to that punk?

Why you? It's hard to say, Rath. While I don't wish to excuse the boy (I've actually had similar instances), perhaps he'd recently had a fight with his parents or girlfriend. Maybe he's failing in school. There are a list of reasons why he might pick on you, especially since you were wearing a business suit. Perhaps he saw that as some sort of "success" that he might never achieve.

It's an old story. Those who have nothing tend wish the worst on those who do. If anything, it's their way of rationalizing their own situation. We all do that to some degree, but those who're very poor play that game the most. Maybe that's why he figured if he could take someone "successful" down to his level and perhaps beat the crap out of them, he'd confirm his opinion that "those who have something" are weak and worthless. That's nothing more than him rationalizing, of course. But perhaps that's his method of coping.

Oh and one thing else... how can 27C be classified as "searing heat?" Translated into Fahrenheit, that's 80 degrees. While it's colder than that in Canada at the moment (it is winter here, after all), you should try Houston, TX in the summer. The temperature can easily be anywhere from 40C to 43C. That's in addition to 100% humidity.

27 degrees C was 'searing heat' that day because it was a very dry heat. It made me wish for a drink every 2 minutes, particularly as I was in a suit and tie. In and of itself, it's not too bad, but I'd been walking in a suit from work, then catching two trains, walking home, and then back out again... phew. It takes its toll.

(Also, after I wrote this, I found out that it was actually 30 degrees that day. That's even worse when you're in a suit. If I was wearing a T-shirt, of course, it'd have been easier...)

Yeah, I agree that's pretty bad if you're wearing a suit. However, I'd still prefer a "dry heat" to heat that's "exceptionally humid." In that type of heat, you begin sweating as soon as you set foot out the door.

Australian heat is worse than US heat. It's a fact. <shows a Research Paper proving it to DPX, then hurriedly puts away the papers before DPX can see it's got Acme Research stamped onto it...>

Rath, re the rude teen... Rudeness is a proliferating virus. It doesn't take much to make someone feel irritable, and then anyone within parameters they find irritating can become the target. You don't particularly need to be doing anything - you just need to be there.

I find the best way of handling rudeness is to respond with courtesy and kindness, like smearing honey onto the barrel of a machine gun. I've found people who were angry or annoyed calming down remarkably when they realise I'm not going to respond with equal annoyance.

Practice that smile, Rath... grin like a happy gibbon, and the whole world grins with you. Well, most of it.

Almirena wrote:I find the best way of handling rudeness is to respond with courtesy and kindness, like smearing honey onto the barrel of a machine gun. I've found people who were angry or annoyed calming down remarkably when they realise I'm not going to respond with equal annoyance.

I suspect the successrate of a man using courtesy and kindness is considerably lower in such situations. As a matter of fact, it may have the opposite effect, as the assaulter doesn't get the reaction he expects to get and may feel as if the other is trying to control or manipulate him.

It would be worth checking, hmm?

Almirena wrote:It would be worth checking, hmm?

Nope. Reacting to such people, regardless how nice you're trying to be, only makes things worse. They'll take anything as an excuse to make trouble.

Almirena wrote:Australian heat is worse than US heat. It's a fact. <shows a Research Paper proving it to DPX, then hurriedly puts away the papers before DPX can see it's got Acme Research stamped onto it...>

Rath, re the rude teen... Rudeness is a proliferating virus. It doesn't take much to make someone feel irritable, and then anyone within parameters they find irritating can become the target. You don't particularly need to be doing anything - you just need to be there.

I find the best way of handling rudeness is to respond with courtesy and kindness, like smearing honey onto the barrel of a machine gun. I've found people who were angry or annoyed calming down remarkably when they realise I'm not going to respond with equal annoyance.

Practice that smile, Rath... grin like a happy gibbon, and the whole world grins with you. Well, most of it.

*grins like a joyous hyena* How's that? *smile*

I've been travelling on public transport for years, and I found that most people on the train or tram are fairly friendly, if sometimes overly self-absorbed. Sharing humour with strangers can help break the ice sometimes. If I've got an MX (a free tabloid-y newspaper that gets handed out in stations), I might share a 'wacky' news item with strangers, just to see them crack a smile. Or I might be listening to energetic music (e.g. "The Merry Widow") and humming along or whistling under my breath - I find that doing that gives me more energy.

I've never actually seen anyone greet rudeness with courtesy and kindness, not on public transport. On the phone at work, sure... I've done that myself. But on the tram? *shrugs* By his attitude, I'm guessing that if I grinned at him, he would have broken my teeth.

Maybe it's just a matter of attitude. I'm by nature a fairly friendly person, though a little wary. He came across to me as completely immature - but then, he's only 13 or 14. I certainly hope he learns a few things about life as he grows up - and if he doesn't wise up soon, I'm pretty sure he'll have a reason to learn a thing or two from the police. *shrug*

Rath, I have seen and experienced rude kids like the one on your tram. The best thing that works personally is to completely ignore them and give absolutely no hint that their words sunk into your head. His main goal was to get you to acknowledge his response in which he succeeded. He probably gets zero attention at home and needs to get it somewhere - negatively or positively.

Saying something completely opposite may help, but if he's throwing out curse words and threatening with violence, better not egg him on and turn his dial to high. Yikes.

I see people like that as crumbling black holes. They want to bring you down and suck the light out of you because they don't have it...figuratively.

*hug*

I can't figure out what bad word this is: p***ter

Tawmis wrote:I can't figure out what bad word this is: p***ter

The only word I can think of is "p00fter" with the letter "O" replacing the two zeros. That's British slang for "gay."

Yes, that's the word I was trying to type. I'm not sure why it got censored like that though... *shrug*

Thanks for the hug and advice, Jules. *hugs back*

Rath Darkblade wrote:I'm not sure why it got censored like that though... *shrug*

Odd if it was, I don't have any censoring turned on.