Skyrim Silliness!
Posted: Sun May 03, 2015 2:53 am
Top 20 Skyrim Lines that Might be Improved By the Substitution of the Word "Pants"
20. Guard: "Go fiddling with any PANTS around here, we're going to have a real problem."
19. Belethor: "Everything's for sale, my friend. Everything! If I had PANTS, I'd sell 'em in a second."
(And that's why you don't get to see below the counter -Ed.)
18. Dragonborn: "Fus Ro PANTS!" (Everyone's pants fall down with an amusing boi-i-i-ing sound)
17. Guard: "Let me guess - someone stole your PANTS..."
16. Hunter: "I've been hunting and fishing in these PANTS for years."
(I guess that explains the smell -Ed.)
15. Village Drunk: "My favorite drinking buddy! Let's get some PANTS."
14. Jarl Balgruuf the Greater: "Enough! I will not stand idly by while a dragon burns my PANTS and slaughters my people!"
13. Guard: "My cousin is out fighting PANTS, and what do I get? Guard duty."
12. Esbern: "In their tongue he is Dovahkiin - DRAGONPANTS!"
(everyone starts chanting "Dragonpants, Dragonpants, he will take Alduin's pants...")
11. Bandit: (attacking and yelling) "Skyrim belongs to the PANTS!"
10. Farengar Secret-Fire: "It seems this damnable conflict has claimed everyone's PANTS of late. Me? I prefer my books, and my PANTS."
9. M'aiq the Liar: "Nords are so serious about PANTS. So many PANTS. M'aiq thinks they wish they had glorious PANTS like Khajiit."
8. Guard: "Don't suppose you'd enchant my PANTS?"
7. Erikur, Thane of Solitude: "The imperials are good for PANTS, and PANTS are good for Skyrim."
6. Eorlund Gray-Mane: "PANTS be praised."
5. Jon Battle-born: "You know what's wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone's obsessed with PANTS!"
4. Guard: "Hail, summoner. Conjure me up SOME PANTS, would you?"
3. Falk Firebeard, Court Steward of Solitude: "Do you have business with the PANTS?"
2. M'aiq the Liar: "PANTS fall. Why worry where they go? M'aiq thinks the PANTS are pretty."
...and the Top Skyrim Line that Might be Improved By the Substitution of the Word "Pants"...
1. Lydia: "I am sworn to carry your PANTS."
20. Guard: "Go fiddling with any PANTS around here, we're going to have a real problem."
19. Belethor: "Everything's for sale, my friend. Everything! If I had PANTS, I'd sell 'em in a second."
(And that's why you don't get to see below the counter -Ed.)
18. Dragonborn: "Fus Ro PANTS!" (Everyone's pants fall down with an amusing boi-i-i-ing sound)
17. Guard: "Let me guess - someone stole your PANTS..."
16. Hunter: "I've been hunting and fishing in these PANTS for years."
(I guess that explains the smell -Ed.)
15. Village Drunk: "My favorite drinking buddy! Let's get some PANTS."
14. Jarl Balgruuf the Greater: "Enough! I will not stand idly by while a dragon burns my PANTS and slaughters my people!"
13. Guard: "My cousin is out fighting PANTS, and what do I get? Guard duty."
12. Esbern: "In their tongue he is Dovahkiin - DRAGONPANTS!"
(everyone starts chanting "Dragonpants, Dragonpants, he will take Alduin's pants...")
11. Bandit: (attacking and yelling) "Skyrim belongs to the PANTS!"
10. Farengar Secret-Fire: "It seems this damnable conflict has claimed everyone's PANTS of late. Me? I prefer my books, and my PANTS."
9. M'aiq the Liar: "Nords are so serious about PANTS. So many PANTS. M'aiq thinks they wish they had glorious PANTS like Khajiit."
8. Guard: "Don't suppose you'd enchant my PANTS?"
7. Erikur, Thane of Solitude: "The imperials are good for PANTS, and PANTS are good for Skyrim."
6. Eorlund Gray-Mane: "PANTS be praised."
5. Jon Battle-born: "You know what's wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone's obsessed with PANTS!"
4. Guard: "Hail, summoner. Conjure me up SOME PANTS, would you?"
3. Falk Firebeard, Court Steward of Solitude: "Do you have business with the PANTS?"
2. M'aiq the Liar: "PANTS fall. Why worry where they go? M'aiq thinks the PANTS are pretty."
...and the Top Skyrim Line that Might be Improved By the Substitution of the Word "Pants"...
1. Lydia: "I am sworn to carry your PANTS."
Yes, I stayed away from the "arrow in the knee" thing on purpose... too much repetition made it annoying. 
