Describe the least-appealing game

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

I saw this idea on another gaming forum and thought it'd be fun to do here.

Basically, create a brief concept for a fictional game that only includes gameplay elements you find unappealing. In other words, you'll be summarising a nonexistent game that is as far removed from your tastes as possible. Don't simply list off gaming devices you don't like, incorporate them into a description.

To hopefully alleviate any potential confusion, here's my example:

A first-person zombie shooter with only one difficulty setting (brutal), where merely walking damages your health and your only weapon is a crossbow, which has to be aimed manually with unwieldy controls and a fixed camera. QTEs figure prominently and the narrator has excessive vocal fry.

[Tawmis]

An anime game, that is full of endless "mini games" in order to proceed; most of which are time based, such as "click a button" and run down a complex set of hallways to get past the gate that rapidly closes. On higher difficulty, the camera will randomly pan around and show "energy signatures" as you run around.

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

A micro-transaction laden, subscription only anime football game, where every customizable feature is overpriced DLC only available in other countries.

[Rath Darkblade]

An RPG with lots and lots of "hunt-the-pixel" mini-games that you must complete in order to construct some long-lost key or some nonsense, which (again) you need in order to proceed into some area or other. Because someone in your party wants you to.

Oh, wait.

[Datadog]

-You play as a masked, voiceless figure indistinguishable from a typical henchman.
-On your way to the first mission, you accidentally trigger and get trapped in a 10-hour side-quest which later turns out to be a DLC.
-Every mini-game is a "Simon Says" puzzle where you memorize ever-longer sequences of colours.
-The final boss is also an escort mission while being chased by a barrier of death.
-Crafting is mandatory.

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

A text-based erotic adventure that only recognizes G-rated euphemisms.

[Rath Darkblade]

A first-person zombie shooter where the only way to get rid of the pesky things is to offer them a bunch of flowers. The only way to get the flowers is to visit the zombies' graves and ... well, you get the idea.

[Rath Darkblade]

So, does anyone wish to continue this?

-You play as a masked, voiceless figure indistinguishable from a typical henchman.
-On your way to the first mission, you accidentally trigger and get trapped in a 10-hour side-quest which later turns out to be a DLC.
-Every mini-game is a "Simon Says" puzzle where you memorize ever-longer sequences of colours.
-The final boss is also an escort mission while being chased by a barrier of death.
-Crafting is mandatory.

I'm not sure what a "barrier of death" is, but it doesn't sound pleasant. Does it have anything to do with whirling blades and suchlike?

[Semi-Happy Partygoer]

An endless open-world fighter featuring a map as large as earth, with unstoppable respawning enemies and non-regenerating health. No health packs, armor or weapon upgrades can be earned through play and must instead be purchased for exorbitant sums, while excessive DRM prevents even legal owners from playing any of it.