Song: "We're Guards at Pericles' Palace"
Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2020 7:04 pm
Yes, this probably never happened. For a start, Pericles - a famous ancient Greek general and politician - probably never had a palace, but a fortress.
All right, fine - if you wanna split hairs, you got a point. Hope you enjoy!
"We're Guards at Pericles' Palace"
(parody of "We're Knights of The Round Table", from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"; written 8 Sept 2015)
Bum-Baddum-Bum-Bum!
We're guards at Pericles' Palace!
Our land - its name is Hellas.
A boring job -
We see some nobs,
and then do what they tell us.
We eat well here with Pericles,
And sometimes we meet with Achilles!
(Comic dance. Guards jump on the table, join hands, and do high kicks, exposing their loincloths. A peasant covers his wife's eyes, but she slaps him away. Greek flautists play and sway to the music. A servant walks by carrying loaves of bread. The guards do two more high kicks, then one of them kicks the servant's bread away.)
We're guards at Pericles' Palace!
He has a bust of Pallas.
We take short hikes,
and Peri likes
To watch re-runs of "Dallas".
We're jewelry-mad with Pericles,
Every guard has got a lot o' rings!
(Amusing interlude. Guards bang on their shields with their spears, in rhythm. Someone steps on a stoat, which squeals in time. A guard stabs his spear into the ground and dances around it. Pericles claps along, then throws a cream pie into someone's face. It is very silly.)
We will defend the Palace
And if we die, then alas!
We clean our spears
And shop at Sears
So I guess that now you're jea-las.
It's a busy life with Pericles!
(Pause. Drum-roll. A big guard steps forward)
Big Guard: (with inflection) He says his dad is Hercules.
(Guards dance off, leaving Pericles looking confused.)
All right, fine - if you wanna split hairs, you got a point. Hope you enjoy!
"We're Guards at Pericles' Palace"
(parody of "We're Knights of The Round Table", from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"; written 8 Sept 2015)
Bum-Baddum-Bum-Bum!
We're guards at Pericles' Palace!
Our land - its name is Hellas.
A boring job -
We see some nobs,
and then do what they tell us.
We eat well here with Pericles,
And sometimes we meet with Achilles!
(Comic dance. Guards jump on the table, join hands, and do high kicks, exposing their loincloths. A peasant covers his wife's eyes, but she slaps him away. Greek flautists play and sway to the music. A servant walks by carrying loaves of bread. The guards do two more high kicks, then one of them kicks the servant's bread away.)
We're guards at Pericles' Palace!
He has a bust of Pallas.
We take short hikes,
and Peri likes
To watch re-runs of "Dallas".
We're jewelry-mad with Pericles,
Every guard has got a lot o' rings!
(Amusing interlude. Guards bang on their shields with their spears, in rhythm. Someone steps on a stoat, which squeals in time. A guard stabs his spear into the ground and dances around it. Pericles claps along, then throws a cream pie into someone's face. It is very silly.)
We will defend the Palace
And if we die, then alas!
We clean our spears
And shop at Sears
So I guess that now you're jea-las.
It's a busy life with Pericles!
(Pause. Drum-roll. A big guard steps forward)
Big Guard: (with inflection) He says his dad is Hercules.
(Guards dance off, leaving Pericles looking confused.)