And now, it's time for... (Warning: very silly)
Posted: Sun May 26, 2024 3:37 am
*drumroll and trumpet fanfare* 
The Eternal, Pointless Argument
(made very, very simple)
Two scientists in white coats stroll on.
A: ... and I keep tellin' ya, John, coffee's clearly better! It gives you more energy, and keeps you alert, and...
B: Yeah, Sam, I won't deny it. But it also makes you jittery and paranoid.
A: What?! Who said that? ([i[drinks a cup of coffee[/i]) Ah. An' coffee's also good against heart disease!
B: Yeah, but tea's better for relaxin', you can't deny that. And it doesn't have that horrible aftertaste.
A: Weren't you a paid consultant for Twinings?
B: Weren't you a paid consultant for Lavazza?
A: You answer first!
B: Yeah, well ... the fact that Twinings paid me a small retainer to research their products--
A: Aha!
B: But that's totally beside the point. Now what about you? You contracted at Lavazza, don't deny it!
A: Ah. Well, to be completely frank ... yes--
B: I knew it!
A: --but that's irrelevant. Look at all the good things they're doing! Their coffee is certified organic by the EU. They treat their employees fairly. And you want to stop them?!
B: And what about Twinings -- they're an environmentally friendly company! They source their tea from independently certified gardens! Who are you to stand on their way?!
A third scientist in a white coat strolls on, holding a steaming cup. He takes a sip.
A: Saaay there, friend ... what are you drinking?
B: What's in the cup, buddy?
C: Hot chocolate.
A & B take a deep breath.
A: Blasphemer!!!
B: Heretic!!!
The End
So, anyway. Lots of people swear by coffee. Lots of people swear against coffee. And lots of people say, "Why not both?"
What do you think, hmm?
The Eternal, Pointless Argument
(made very, very simple)
Two scientists in white coats stroll on.
A: ... and I keep tellin' ya, John, coffee's clearly better! It gives you more energy, and keeps you alert, and...
B: Yeah, Sam, I won't deny it. But it also makes you jittery and paranoid.
A: What?! Who said that? ([i[drinks a cup of coffee[/i]) Ah. An' coffee's also good against heart disease!
B: Yeah, but tea's better for relaxin', you can't deny that. And it doesn't have that horrible aftertaste.
A: Weren't you a paid consultant for Twinings?
B: Weren't you a paid consultant for Lavazza?
A: You answer first!
B: Yeah, well ... the fact that Twinings paid me a small retainer to research their products--
A: Aha!
B: But that's totally beside the point. Now what about you? You contracted at Lavazza, don't deny it!
A: Ah. Well, to be completely frank ... yes--
B: I knew it!
A: --but that's irrelevant. Look at all the good things they're doing! Their coffee is certified organic by the EU. They treat their employees fairly. And you want to stop them?!
B: And what about Twinings -- they're an environmentally friendly company! They source their tea from independently certified gardens! Who are you to stand on their way?!
A third scientist in a white coat strolls on, holding a steaming cup. He takes a sip.
A: Saaay there, friend ... what are you drinking?
B: What's in the cup, buddy?
C: Hot chocolate.
A & B take a deep breath.
A: Blasphemer!!!
B: Heretic!!!
The End
So, anyway. Lots of people swear by coffee. Lots of people swear against coffee. And lots of people say, "Why not both?"
What do you think, hmm?