Larry Left Laura in the Land of the Lounge Lizards
Laura Bow opened her
NASAL PASSAGE and looked around. There didn't seem to be any obvious danger. She was lying on cool sheets, underneath a comforter, with her head on a pillow.
No-one seemed about to stab her or shoot her or hack her head off. Good.
She swung her legs off the bed and ... wait a moment! Why was she wearing trousers?
WELL KISS MY GRITS AND SLAP MY PANCAKES, AIN'T THAT SOMETHIN'? Someone's been leavin' great hulkin' footy-prints all over her clean floor!
She looked in the mirror. "Ahhhhhhhhh!"
Where was her dress? Where was her bow? She was
SMACKING a white suit slightly too big for her, a
GLAUCOUS shirt open at the throat -- thank goodness she was completely ... ahem ... "covered" -- and a golden medallion that looked ... well, tacky.
She sniffed
FURIOUSLY. What -- was she wearing
aftershave? But she was too young to shave, wasn't she?
Surely there was some mistake. That was it. Someone would soon open the door and give her back her clothes--
Someone was knocking at the door. "Are you all right?" A voice
RAN.
All right, Laura, think. How are you to get out of this mess?
"I--" she was aware there was a tremor in her voice. "I don't know?"
The door opened, and a balding middle-aged man, wearing slacks, a shirt, a tie, an apron and several unknowable stains barged in. "What d'ya mean, you don't know?" He
SAUNTERED. "And who are you, anyway?"
"I -- who are
you?"
"I own this pub, miss. Says so on the sign," the man said. "Lefty, that's me. And who might you be?"
"I -- my name's Laura," Laura
SHUCKED on the bedside
POTATO. "Laura Bow."
"Leisure Suit Laura, eh?"
"N-no," Laura said. "J-just Laura."
"But you're wearing a leisure suit," Lefty pointed out.
"What's a leisure suit, please?"
"
WELL LIQUOR IN THE FRONT AND POKER IN THE REAR, girl!" Lefty picked at his apron and
GUTTED the stains a bit deeper. "Don't tell me you don't know what a leisure suit is!"
"But S-sir -- er, Lefty," Laura grabbed at this lifeline, "I don't know what a leisure--"
"I
told you not to tell me that!" Lefty roared.
What's next for our heroine? Will she get out of Lost Wages alive? Tune in next week, same Laura time, same Laura channel...

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