Cliches in Games

[Tawmis]

For Adventure Games...

- Seeing something on the screen that you think will be useful - but the game will tell you that you don't need it.

- Sure enough being in a situation where that item you saw that the game said you didn't need, would certainly be useful right about now.

[Collector]

Like all of the items in the pawn shop in KQ6?

[Tawmis]

Yes, I was also thinking the garage at the beginning of LSL2.

[Rath Darkblade]

Another one for adventure games...

If, at the end of one adventure game your character will have retired happily, at the beginning of the sequel he will have a very good reason to start adventuring again. This always happens. Your character cannot retire and start drawing his pension.

[Tawmis]

Whenever there's dramatic music suddenly in the game - $#!+ is about to hit the fan.

[DeadPoolX]

Here are some more!

1. Deadly Water - Most platform games are guilty of this. There are often numerous stages or levels containing water, in which one touch will immediately kill the hero.

I'm not quite sure why water is so deadly. Maybe there are sharks or piranhas there? Whatever the case, if the hero falls into the water, they will most likely die.

2. Super Soldiers - If you look at most sci-fi oriented games (even those supposedly taking place in modern day or the near future), you're almost guaranteed to see a few super soldiers. If you're playing Captain America or even Solid Snake, I could see getting away with this. But what about others?

How many plumbers are superheroes? How many nearly-silent ex-soldiers who've taken to mercenary operations can we have? Since when could the "average person" go from a 9-to-5 job and suddenly wield an M16 and a rocket launcher without training? How many people have been "chosen by the gods" to do whatever the game says?

3. Quick Health Regeneration - I can see the practical side of this one. Game developers know that gamers hate downtime and wish to heal as fast as possible. This rarely makes a whole lot of sense, however.

How often are medical supplies (often called "medkits") just laying around or does oddly colored water heal all wounds? Since when are there "med stations" attached to walls that'll transform you from a nearly crippled state to perfectly healthy?

Some games can get away with this. If a game is set in the future, I could possibly see such items existing. Fantasy-oriented games also get a free pass. If magic exists, then all bets are off.

But games set in the real world and take place during the past or modern day have no excuse. While medics (or corpsmen if in the Marine Corps) certainly exist and have helped soldiers survive, they couldn't resurrect the dead or heal a fatally wounded soldier.

4. Hot Chicks - I don't have a problem with good looking women. However, there's a point where it becomes ridiculous. Nearly every woman in games (unless she's supposed to be very old or a comedic character) looks like she's a supermodel. Most also have unnaturally large breasts -- at least for their body type and frame.

Some games can do this (such as the LSL titles) since they're obviously a parody, but most titles have no reason other than to attract a male crowd. Lara Croft, for instance, couldn't perform any of the acrobatics she's shown in the Tomb Raider games with such large breasts. First-Person Shooters and even RPGs are guilty of this, as well.

To be fair, women aren't the only ones who have this problem. Men are often depicted as steroid-using muscle-bound guys without a neck. Sometimes a guy won't look like that, but he'll still resemble a male model.

Where are the normal people? They simply do not exist.

5. Animals - How many times have you killed an animal or insect in an RPG and receive gold (or whatever currency is used) in return? I know I have, especially in console RPGs. I'd like to know what these animals were doing with the gold? Where did they put it? What are they using it for? Is there some sort of "animal superstore" I'm unaware of?

In addition, animals are most often shown as overly aggressive enemies. How many wolves have we killed over the years? How about rats? Bears too.

I have to ask: do animals exist to kill heroes? It would seem so.

6. Switches/Levers/Keycards - This was a huge problem in older FPS and action games. The general idea was you had to acquire a keycard to access the next area. You also needed to flip a switch or pull/push a lever.

The only way to gain the keycard or have an opportunity to flip that switch or pull/push a lever was to kill hordes of enemies.

7. Wooden Crates - I've destroyed many wooden crates and barrels over the years. It seems like everyone has some. Even better, smashing these crates and barrels usually reveal important items. Sometimes the barrels or crates explode, but more often than not, you can gain some "phat loot."

8. Exploding Barrels - Barrels explode. They just do. Usually these explosive devices have some of "caution warning" on them.

While shooting the barrels may work for the hero, I have to wonder whose bright idea was it to station these barrels within the general vicinity of the guards. That seems like poor planning to me.

9. No Jumping - So... I can take on the minions of Hell, battle huge dragons and defeat a terrorist organization, but I can get past a two-foot gap? All this does is make the game artificially longer -- not to mention more aggravating -- since you'll have to take a convoluted route around the gap. Maybe villains should simply place such gaps around the hero's hometown.

10. Weapons - Who leaves high-powered weaponry just laying on a table? Apparently many bad guys do. That seems like a poor decision to me.

Even worse is when the hero uses weapons in a completely unrealistic fashion. Using Lara Croft as an example once again, she can wield a Desert Eagle in each hand. Most men have problems using one while holding it with both hands. These handguns are extremely powerful and provide a large kick.

Other games are guilty of this as well. Look at Cloud from FF7. He uses a sword that's larger than he is. I'm not quite sure how or where he sheathes it (and maybe I don't want to know), but it's completely ridiculous.

[Datadog]

He keeps the sword strapped to his back when moving around, and stores all of his extra weapons in his motorcycle.

After seeing "Advent Children," I've learned to stop analyzing Cloud and his weapon use. Anybody who keeps five different giant swords inside of one, can shoot lasers from them, can fight holding two of them at any time, run up the sides of buildings, leap a thousand feet into the air, land like a feather, and chop buildings in half exists on a plane of reality we were not meant to question.

[Rath Darkblade]

*ROFLOL* I've never played FF7, but this "Cloud" character reminds me a lot of the old Looney Tunes Laws of Physics. You know - according to the LTLoP, anything is allowed as long as it's silly? For instance, Daffy Duck is allowed to walk out into thin air and soliloquise, just as long as he doesn't notice that he's standing on thin air - at which point, the normal laws of physics begin to apply again?

Apparently, in Cloud's case, anything applies as long as it "looks cool"(TM). Or maybe Cloud also follows the Loony Tunes Laws of Physics - he's allowed to do anything, even silly things, because he is a Hero(TM).

Oh, and Cloud's use of five (!!!) giant swords reminds me of Dave Bozwell from "The Knights of the Dinner Table" and his fabled Hackmaster +12 sword.

[Almirena]

More game clichés (mostly adventure game oriented):

• You are easily able to hide from people who are discussing very private things, yet you will be within earshot of their incriminating and informative discussion;
  Things in your inventory satchel never seem to get broken, even with all the fighting or running or climbing you're forced to do;
  There are limited subjects you can discuss with people. You might REALLY WANT to ask about the best way to make rutabaga pie or whether the person you're talking with uses Oil of Ulan, but it's unlikely to be a question you are able to ask;
  If you spot a shiny object lying on the road, you are sure to want to pick it up. No thought of landmines enters your mind...;
  You feel no scruple about opening other people's cupboards and drawers;
  If you're a magician, you never seem to have mastered the spell which tells you exactly where the villain is,teleports you there, and instantly turns the villain into dust.