Short Skit: "Ned Flanders Orders Pizza"
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:27 am
Disclaimer: Ned Flanders and his sons Rod and Todd are the intellectual property of Matt Groening. All rights reserved.
And now...
Ned Flanders Orders Pizza
*ring ring!*
Pizza Guy: Lin Lin Chinese takeout! Whatchu like orda?!
Ned Flanders: Oopsily-doopsily. I think I have the wrong number - I wanted to order pizza.
Pizza Guy: Hey, I'm just kiddin' around, sir. What kind of pizza would you like?
Ned Flanders: Uh, I'm not sure. This is my first time.
Pizza Guy: Sure thing, well you can tell us what you like and we can build it for you.
Ned Flanders: Really? That sounds super-leriffic!
Pizza Guy: Cool, man. So what do you like?
Ned Flanders: I'm not sure what you have.
Pizza Guy: Well, in terms of toppings, we have all kinds of things: sausage, pepperoni, bacon, beef, chicken, salami, peppers, onions, olives, shallots, shrimp...
Ned Flanders: I'm sorrily-worrily, but I don't think that I as a Christian am allowed to eat sea products.
Pizza Guy: Not to worry, you don't have to have fish.
Ned Flanders: I'm not sure that I like any of those topping-whoppings.
Pizza Guy: Not even garlic?
Ned Flanders: Plain was good enough for Jesus and it's good enough for me, darn it.
Pizza Guy: So just a plain pizza, then?
Ned Flanders: What's that?
Pizza Guy: Just dough, tomato sauce and cheese.
Ned Flanders: Cheese? I think there might be something in the Bible about that...
Pizza Guy: So just the dough and the tomato sauce?
Ned Flanders: I'm not sure that'll be mighty appetising.
Pizza Guy: What won't be appetising?
Ned Flanders: Tomato sauce on dough.
Pizza Guy: So no tomato sauce?
Ned Flanders: Hmm. I think just the dough will be fine and dandy like sour candy!
Pizza Guy: So let me get this straight. You want baked raw dough?
Ned Flanders: Yes.
Pizza Guy: (sigh) You want it, you got it. That'll be $5, and that includes home delivery. Where did you say you live?
Ned Flanders: 744 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, USA.
Pizza Guy: No problem. It'll be there within 15 minutes.
Ned Flanders: Thankily-dankily! Bye for now. (hangs up) Kids! We're having pizza tonight!
Rod and Todd Flanders: Yay! Pizza!
Rod: Take-out helps us play!
Pizza Guy: (hangs up) Guys! You'll never believe the order I just got!
The end... or is it?
And now...
Ned Flanders Orders Pizza
*ring ring!*
Pizza Guy: Lin Lin Chinese takeout! Whatchu like orda?!
Ned Flanders: Oopsily-doopsily. I think I have the wrong number - I wanted to order pizza.
Pizza Guy: Hey, I'm just kiddin' around, sir. What kind of pizza would you like?
Ned Flanders: Uh, I'm not sure. This is my first time.
Pizza Guy: Sure thing, well you can tell us what you like and we can build it for you.
Ned Flanders: Really? That sounds super-leriffic!
Pizza Guy: Cool, man. So what do you like?
Ned Flanders: I'm not sure what you have.
Pizza Guy: Well, in terms of toppings, we have all kinds of things: sausage, pepperoni, bacon, beef, chicken, salami, peppers, onions, olives, shallots, shrimp...
Ned Flanders: I'm sorrily-worrily, but I don't think that I as a Christian am allowed to eat sea products.
Pizza Guy: Not to worry, you don't have to have fish.
Ned Flanders: I'm not sure that I like any of those topping-whoppings.
Pizza Guy: Not even garlic?
Ned Flanders: Plain was good enough for Jesus and it's good enough for me, darn it.
Pizza Guy: So just a plain pizza, then?
Ned Flanders: What's that?
Pizza Guy: Just dough, tomato sauce and cheese.
Ned Flanders: Cheese? I think there might be something in the Bible about that...
Pizza Guy: So just the dough and the tomato sauce?
Ned Flanders: I'm not sure that'll be mighty appetising.
Pizza Guy: What won't be appetising?
Ned Flanders: Tomato sauce on dough.
Pizza Guy: So no tomato sauce?
Ned Flanders: Hmm. I think just the dough will be fine and dandy like sour candy!
Pizza Guy: So let me get this straight. You want baked raw dough?
Ned Flanders: Yes.
Pizza Guy: (sigh) You want it, you got it. That'll be $5, and that includes home delivery. Where did you say you live?
Ned Flanders: 744 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, USA.
Pizza Guy: No problem. It'll be there within 15 minutes.
Ned Flanders: Thankily-dankily! Bye for now. (hangs up) Kids! We're having pizza tonight!
Rod and Todd Flanders: Yay! Pizza!
Rod: Take-out helps us play!
Pizza Guy: (hangs up) Guys! You'll never believe the order I just got!
The end... or is it?
