The Eternal, Pointless Argument
(made very, very simple)
Two scientists in white coats stroll on.
A: ... and I keep tellin' ya, John, coffee's clearly better! It gives you more energy, and keeps you alert, and...
B: Yeah, Sam, I won't deny it. But it also makes you jittery and paranoid.
A: What?! Who said that? ([i[drinks a cup of coffee[/i]) Ah. An' coffee's also good against heart disease!
B: Yeah, but tea's better for relaxin', you can't deny that. And it doesn't have that horrible aftertaste.
A: Weren't you a paid consultant for Twinings?
B: Weren't you a paid consultant for Lavazza?
A: You answer first!
B: Yeah, well ... the fact that Twinings paid me a small retainer to research their products--
A: Aha!
B: But that's totally beside the point. Now what about you? You contracted at Lavazza, don't deny it!
A: Ah. Well, to be completely frank ... yes--
B: I knew it!
A: --but that's irrelevant. Look at all the good things they're doing! Their coffee is certified organic by the EU. They treat their employees fairly. And you want to stop them?!
B: And what about Twinings -- they're an environmentally friendly company! They source their tea from independently certified gardens! Who are you to stand on their way?!
A third scientist in a white coat strolls on, holding a steaming cup. He takes a sip.
A: Saaay there, friend ... what are you drinking?
B: What's in the cup, buddy?
C: Hot chocolate.
A & B take a deep breath.
A: Blasphemer!!!
B: Heretic!!!
The End
So, anyway. Lots of people swear by coffee. Lots of people swear against coffee. And lots of people say, "Why not both?"
What do you think, hmm?
