All right, we all know that Disney makes fairy tales. Their films are not about real people, they never were. Disney just stea-- adapts other countries' cultural heroes and heroines, and then Disneyfies them to make money. Who cares about the original source material? We'll slap on whatever message we want, from "freedom" to "individualism" to "girl power". Yay, Mulan - you go, girl! (Please, I'm making myself sick).
It didn't start out like that. And it shouldn't have to be like that. And now that Disney owns LucasArts, they could take "Monkey Island" and turn it into a cartoon romance called "Elaine", or take "Grim Fandango" and turn it into a ... I'unno, something kid-friendly. (Without the calacas dolls, and the awesome music, and the great cars, and the wonderful Bauhaus designs ... sigh ... But Dios mío, why bother? It'd just destroy everything that made it "Grim Fandango". Disney may as well just pick some other culture and rip it to shreds, like the vultures they are).
But that's another rant. Here's what I want to ask: yes, Disney films look beautiful, and the DeviantArtists who remake Disney "princesses" or "characters" do beautiful jobs. When the film is also a musical, Disney knows how to write catchy music, blah blah blah. But is it possible ... maybe it's just a pipe dream ... but is it possible, just maybe, to take back these characters and recreate them the way they actually were? In art, or in real-life movies? I'd watch that.
- Hua Mulan didn't look the way Disney drew her. (She certainly didn't have a pet dragon, for a start).
- Neither Anastasia (the real one) nor her family were murdered by Rasputin, as the film claims. Rasputin died a year before they did.
Disney Rasputin. Note especially the "DARK MAGIC, WOOOO" aura.
Real Rasputin. In that shot, he could be someone's kind old uncle.
- The Hercules film is ... well, utter rubbish. (But it is Disney).
Etc., etc., etc.
And if anyone thinks "Oh, it doesn't matter because it's only for kids" ... well ...? Kids are impressionable. Some of them, at least, will grow up thinking these films are really what happened. No wonder there are so many articles online that try to correct the damage created by Disney films.
What if - just rhetorically - what if, tomorrow, Disney released a film based on the American Civil War, and portrayed Abraham Lincoln as an angelic "savior of the nation", and Jefferson Davis as EVIL INCARNATE, MWAHAHA?
Would those be OK? If not, then why is it OK to take myths and historical characters from other countries, and do it to them?
Maybe, instead of doing endless remakes of its own films (Dumbo remake, Lion King remake, Little Mermaid remake, Mulan remake ... yaaaawwwwnnn ...), Disney should examine its early years. Perhaps create a new film with its original creations (i.e. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Minnie etc.), using classical music - like they used to do?
And instead of simplistic good-and-evil characters, they could do something original. A king (or queen/prince/princess/etc.) aren't "good" just because they're royalty. An advisor (e.g. Jafar, Rasputin - who look very similar, btw) aren't evil just because they're an advisor. Why not swap? "Good" advisor, "evil" king? It'll be more interesting, for a start. How about this for a plot:
Mickey is a bank clerk who loses his job and falls on hard times. His best friend Donald takes him drinking (sarsaparilla - this is for kids, right?) At the sarsaparilla stand (run by Goofy), Mickey meets Minnie. But it's not love at first sight. He likes her, but she can't stand the sight of him because she hates everything to do with banks. Instead, she falls for Donald the sailor man!
What do you reckon? Go ahead and fill in the rest. For instance ...
- Why did Mickey lose his job - did Goofy show up one day and (true to form) do something stupid, so Mickey blew up at him and got the sack?
- Why does Minnie hate everything to do with banks? Maybe she likes Goofy (as a friend), but a banker refused to bankroll Goofy's sarsaparilla stand.
- Why does Minnie like Donald? Is his profession (sailor) more romantic than Mickey's (bank clerk)?
- How does Mickey win her back? Or maybe he doesn't, but he drinks up his sarsaparilla for 'mouse courage', and challenges Donald to a fight? Then Donald blows up (as he usually does), but fights Mickey anyway - and Minnie says, "You're both losers, I'm going out with Goofy" - to which Goofy says "Nyuk nyuk, gorsh..." etc...
What happens next? Who knows? But it'll be far more interesting than the current fare.